real housewives

Hanging Out with My Boyfriend and My Ex

Never thought I’d type that as an article title. Last night I felt like I was living a scene out of a reality TV show.

I’ll provide some background, 7 years ago to the exact day I started working at a restaurant in Vancouver that’s been open for 50 plus years. My first night at work I met a guy who I’ll call Joe. He started openly hitting on me as he does with basically all women that he meets. I remember specifically saying, “We should never been in a room alone together”. I thought he was attractive but I also felt like he seemed like a huge asshole. The prototypical bad boy. It took a few months for me to cave and start hooking up with him. I was so lonely at the time. It’d been a year and a half since I’d hooked up with anyone.

Joe was a player that was even more fucked-up than I imagined. After we hooked up for the first time he invited me over to his place in the morning. Once I arrived, this girl who I thought was his ex was there on his bed (clothed thankfully) and his male friend. They were all high on coke. Joe started rolling around on the bed with his male friend and trying to touch the girl. He then tried to come sit on the couch (aka which was really a backseat from a van) where I was and touch me. I wasn’t feeling it. Since it was early in the morning and they’d been up on coke all night, they passed out shortly after I got there. I made my quiet exit. Clearly that would have been more than enough to make a confident person walk away, but I wasn’t confident at the time. I was pulled in even more. I would make this guy like me.

The hook-ups with Joe continued. I became increasingly obsessed with him while he flaunted having sex with other girls and critiquing every part of my appearance in a negative manner. At work, he would yell at me and treat me like shit. And yet, I kept coming back for me. I wasn’t an innocent in all this. I was emotionally abusive myself. After he’d ditch me to go hang out with another girl I’d text him endless insults and harass him. We were both behaving in psychotic ways.

After months of conflict and continuing to hook-up, we got in an epic fight. Joe threw me down on his bed and put all his weight on top of me, without realizing my left wrist was being bent back. My wrist was sprained. I had never been in a physically abusive relationship before. Yet, this restaurant I was working at represented the first community I felt like I was a part of in Vancouver. I didn’t want to leave this community behind in order to stop being around Joe. Eventually, after a trip to the hospital for a night after a mental breakdown, I stopped all communication with Joe outside of work. Months after I had stopped seeing or texting him he yelled at me in front of the packed restaurant. That was the last shift I worked there. I quit and Joe stayed on.

My current boyfriend, Ian, also works at the same restaurant. I never hooked up with him until I quit working at the restaurant, but part of what helped me quit is that I felt like something could start with Ian and that made me excited and hopeful. I’ve been with Ian for 6 years now. I definitely don’t regret quitting the restaurant. I have a job I love that challenges me and is not in the restaurant industry.

Well, last night my boyfriend went to work and then he started texting me that the manager (who he was also in a band with and who he’s been friends with for over 20 years) told him that Joe smashed the Buddha statue at work and broke its finger off and lost it and quit the restaurant. Joe’s worked there for 17 years. Most people there have worked there for at least 10 years. People tend to stick around because there is a sense of community there that can be hard to find in Vancouver. But communities often have costs that come with being a part of the group.

By the time I picked my boyfriend up after work last night, he said that Joe had called him and was texting him. They’re not friends, but they have known each other for a long time. Joe was looking for some support.

We almost never hang out with Joe, but we invited him over since he lives a couple blocks away. Joe basically he said he reached his limit with another co-worker who likes to stir-up shit and he had to draw a line in the sand. He said he’s been working graves for this restaurant for 17 years and enough is enough, he can’t take it anymore.

This all led to Joe eventually apologizing for the circumstances surrounding how I quit the restaurant. He said sorry, which I’d never heard him say before. I also got an answer to a question I had always wondered about. The day I quit the restaurant 6 years ago, I went out to a bar that Ian and another co-worker (who Ian was fucking) were hanging out at. I had a crush on Ian but since he was hooking up with our co-worker, I didn’t know if anything would come of my crush and I didn’t think it was reciprocated.

I was sitting in the bar when Ian came down and sat beside me and said that the manager had called Ian to ask about me quitting. This made no sense since Ian wasn’t involved in the conflict between Joe and I. Apparently Joe told the manager to call Ian to find out why I quit. I was angry that Joe did this but also surprised. All of my feelings for Joe hadn’t been shared with anyone else. Joe had hit on me, but he was hitting on lots of people at that time–as he had just been brutally dumped by his girlfriend of 7 years. I was looking for someone that wanted to seriously date me. I didn’t want another Joe-like situation so I didn’t give in at that point to Ian’s advances.

Therefore, I was like, why the hell is Joe telling the manager to call Ian? What does Ian have to do with my quitting? Yes, in my mind part of what helped me quit was the hope something could happen with Ian (and I didn’t want to hook-up with a co-worker again), but how would Joe know that? I held on to that question for 6 years.

Finally, last night I asked Joe if he remembered telling the manager to call Ian after I quit 6 years ago. I explained I’d never hooked up with Ian at that point so what made Joe tell the manager to call Ian. Joe said that his dick is 4 inches but Ian’s is 5. Ian’s is bigger than 5. Ian is well-endowed but I’m not sure how Joe knows that. Anyways, to me this was Joe’s way of saying that he psychically or perceptively knew I was into Ian more than him when I quit. That’s kind of what I thought all along.

Last night was cathartic, because I apologized for being emotionally abusive. Joe apologized for doing things like taking a call from another fuck-buddy while in bed with me. That situation did really hurt me. I had to convince and beg him not to leave me and go pick up this other girl (who was supposedly walking the street in a short skirt drunk at dawn). My self-esteem was so low back then. I’m still not nearly as confident as I want to be, but observing Joe last night with his red-wine stained lips, greasy hair and bad B.O. reminded me of how far I’ve come. I didn’t feel attracted to Joe. I felt bad for him and like he hasn’t changed one bit. His rage issues are still running his life. It sounded more like he’s been fired from the restaurant than his initial claim that he quit. The apology helped though. It really did. Also, it made me love Ian more for helping Joe out in a time of need by letting him have us to talk to and for helping me let go of some past shit.

Too bad it wasn’t filmed, because it would have been quite entertaining I think!

Teddi Reminds Me To Stop Saying I Never Lie

I am someone that really prides myself on being honest. But Teddi having to own up to initially taking part in the Puppygate scandal on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on season 9 reminds me that I should stop saying I never lie.

Teddi looks almost as bad as Lisa Vanderpump for being unwilling to admit from the start what her role was in trying to make Dorit look bad for giving a puppy from Vanderpump Dogs to a woman who then took it to a shelter as opposed to returning it to LVP.

Lisa won’t take accountability AT ALL so that makes her look like a huge asshole who is also a liar. Teddi went out of her way multiple times to claim she was innocent in the matter before Teddi finally admits she was initially up for trying to make Dorit look bad for giving the dog away.

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I think it’s good Teddi realized this is some dirty shit she ultimately didn’t want to be a part of, but she shouldn’t have acted so high and mighty by saying she’s never lied in her entire life.

I think it’s safe to say that everybody has lied at some point in their lives. That doesn’t mean people have cheated and hid it or did some other big, huge deceitful thing, but I still think it’s better to say I work really hard to be honest and rarely lie. Teddi seemed so convincing in terms of how much she believed she what was saying about never lying that it makes me feel like Teddi isn’t nearly as accountable as she says she is. It makes me think Teddi thinks she’s better than other people! Nobody’s perfect, Teddi. This could negatively affect her business too since Teddi is all about promoting and profiting off of accountability.

I also can’t stand how Teddi keeps saying she hid how much of a role she started off playing in Puppygate to protect Dorit. Yeah right! I think it was Teddi trying to protect herself. I think Teddi also is now trying to build a real relationship with Dorit, but more than anything Teddi didn’t want to reveal how bitchy and shady she was being early on.

RHONY-Should Renew Sonja’s Contract After Lines Like This: “Cause When That Woman(Ramona)’s Gettin’ Banged, She’s Happy!”

Ha! Sonja said this about Ramona this week that when Ramona and Mario (her ex-husband) used to be married, he was banging her every night (or I guess every night when he wasn’t banging someone else, since she acknowledged he was a cheater—totally had that vibe, too). Sonja is in a hot tub in Mexico on this weeks episode of Real Housewives of New York City as she says about Ramona that she’s sad because she’s not getting enough sex.

Sonja displays her clever wit and no shame in the jokes game when she says about Ramona, “’cause when that woman’s getting banged, she’s happy!” Man, Sonja is funny!

Andy Cohen knows that with lines like that Sonja is going to be some dollars sent her way next season too.

SOUTHERN CHARM SAVANNAH RECAP: Nelson Seems Genuine/Ashley Loses My Sympathy (At Least Temporarily)

During the intro recap from the previous weeks episodes, the racial or religious slur Nelson uses (my impression is that it’s against Jewish people) is highlighted, so I’m guessing Nelson apologizing is going to be one of the focuses this week.

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(Movie poster for Woody Allen’s Hannah and Her Sisters)

Hannah and Her Sisters! Ha…I’m 33 and I’ve seen the Woody Allen film. It’s a good one. For all of you out there who are too young to know what I’m talking about, sorry as this reference has likely been lost on you through no fault of your own. Anyways, Hannah’s sisters show up. I see they’re the aggressive hugger type girls. Like if I was in a cafe or restaurant and I see a bubble of females like this I’ll actively avoid them, oftentimes just to decrease the chances of having to listen to a high pitched squeal while avoiding being hit in the head by one of many failing arms that are about to go into a hug. So Hannah’s three sisters are Hillary is the oldest, Hattie is the third sister, and Hyatt is the youngest.

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(Louis)

Louis’ (Hannah’s boyfriend-for those of you who don’t already know) is having his 29th bday this episode. Hannah is both realistic and that irritating desperate to grow up girl when she says Louis wants to be 17. She calls herself a cradle robber. I’m not sure of their age difference, but I think Hannah is saying this more metaphorically, because Louis is too juvenile. He seems like a pretty decent boyfriend to me. Boring, but decent.

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(Throwback pic of Hannah and her sisters)

Hannah and her sisters are shown sitting around bitching about their parents divorce and their dad’s “awful girlfriends when they (Hannah’s parents) first split up”. They make some fun of a girlfriend who OH DEAR GOD! dared to wear a leopard print dress. I am a fan of leopard print. Yes, it is tacky, but tacky can be fun. And Hannah and her sisters seem like Yuppie tightwads to me for the most part.

Hannah then shares with the camera/audience that 2 years after her parents divorce (Hannah’s Dad cheated and it crushed her), Hannah found out Dad getting engaged to someone she hadn’t even met. She was told by someone who was eating at a restaurant she was working at, and she can’t remember actually being told because she thinks she blocked it out. Oh, what trauma you’ve been through poor Hannah!

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(This is Hannah as a kid. Can this version please come out to play again? Diva.)

It would be hard to accept that your parent isn’t who you think they are, but Hannah should consider the signs she missed rather than focusing on her Mom’s story that they were dancing on the back deck a week or so before he left (a story I remember Hannah telling earlier this season) and blaming everything on her dad. Is Hannah’s mom perfect? Based on how uppity she acts towards Louis (that being said I would be pissed about Ashley stripping down to see-through lingerie in front of my boyfriend too), Hannah might be recreating the scenario her parents experienced by trying to keep Louis on too-tight of a leash.

Nelson’s mom, Linda, is a gem. There were multiple times when she is talking to Nelson that appears to be a very patient and kind person, and she seems to understand that people’s criticism of Nelson is not coming out of nowhere. “Oooh chile, this boys been work!” is what I think his mama wants the audience (and people of Savannah) to know.

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(Nelson and his mom Linda)

Nelson and his mother go to a restaurant called Ms. Wilke to eat some Southern food with others. Nelson doesn’t fit in, and so I love him, is what I’m reminded of every time I see him try to be relaxed, or blend in with the other “norms” of Savannah. Nelson is too big for that city! He is waiting to break out. He needs to get any proclivities towards lying out of his system, and learn which words are offensive in 2017 not 1917, but he also is special. I am weird and awkward too, and so Nelson’s need to overanalyze and generally be a hilarious freak make me a fan of his.

After Nelson shares with his mom how the rest of the cast is mad at him, specifically Daniel, for the slur he used, even though Nelson claims he had no idea it was offensive , she tells Nelson that, “We do need to be responsible for what comes out of our mouths”. Educational moment happening right there. These moments may be far and few between on reality TV, but they are there for us to learn from those who do know more than us. Nelson’s mom also tells him of his error, “You have to own that”  and that after he apologizes to Daniel, he should say, “Let’s shake hands please”. This is a wonderful way to apologize. And Linda couldn’t help but include that it’s “not the first time his (Nelson’s) mouth has gotten him in trouble. His Mom’s face when drinking the iced tea gave me some insight into what it would be like to raise a Nelson. Hilarious!

Catherine tells her friend she worked it out with Ashley and that while this is good for the time being, but she’ll see if either mess up. The outlook is kind of bleak on that one.

Louis says, “When I first met Hannah, she was like, I have three sisters…”. This was initially a big deal, but now he’s got all her sisters on his team and it’s great.

Daniel has a crush on Hattie (the only blond of the four sisters). Daniel thinks she has a great ass. They didn’t hook up this episode, but it seems like it is on the horizon.

Louis makes fun of Hannah and calls her a mom to her sisters and they all laugh. So at least myself and Hannah’s boyfriend and sisters are all on the same page.

Catherine and what-his-face, oh yeah, Lyle, go on a date. Mini golf. Wow the non-existent passion is so not intense. Catherine recoils at Lyle’s touch. She is never going to be IN LOVE with Lyle (yes, this is just my OPINION).

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(Catherine and T-Rav: Southern Charmers)

He says it takes a lot of self confidence to be with Catherine. She has always been flirty according to Lyle. About Catherine’s flirting, Lyle says, “It is the most innocent. I know who she loves. I know where she’s coming at night”. I don’t know about that, but if Lyle is confidence in his position they will probably be happy for a long time. Usually, when I’ve seen and known super flirty it rarely stops at flirting alone, especially when alcohol is a part of the picture.

Hannah and her sisters set up for Louis’s birthday party. An oyster roast is happening because it’s Louis’ favourite thing. FYI: Catherine, who goes out boating with Daniel before the party, has more chemistry with Daniel than with Lyle.

Ashley shows up to Louis’ 29th with her tits out (yes!!!) and a hot purple dress on. Sadly, Dennis, Ashley’s husband and their son Isaac aren’t in this episode–tragic). Nelson shows up too.

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(Happy…right?)

Ewww…Flashback to Happy at Catherine’s dinner party, “How long does it take to get there?”. I agree with the point Happy is making, but EWW her voice is so stuck-up and annoying. She’s annoyed me since the first second I heard her speak in the first episode. But, considering the family and belief systems she’s been raised with, I do respect her decision to go against her family’s racist views and marry a Muslim person.

Bad oysters. Yuck. Finally Catherine and Daniel arrive to the party. I love Catherine’s move to pull off her rain pants and reveal a dress. That is totally something I’d do. Catherine is blah to me for the most part, but she entertained me, for a second, there.

These people’s version of a wild party is shotgunning beer. Hmm. Pretty tame, I’d say.

“I’ll think about it in, like, a couple drinks…” Happy is a bitch through and through.

Ashley goes to put on her bathing suit. I wanna see! Her body is banging. Sidenote: how does Ashley maintain her body? It probably requires work or very little food to look that good.

Nelson is feeling ostracized and his mouth tastes like some weird chemical name “paint”. Nelson is so funny with the out-of-left-field things he says. Spinoff idea: Ashley and Nelson Do Europe. Nelson’s style is not always as advanced as I imagine it to be. The washed out jeans with a belt and light blue polo shirt are outdated. Nelson goes and grabs Daniel to start the apology train.

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(Nelson and OG Southern Charmer Kathryn…fun peeps)

Nelson: “Thank-you for telling me that-the word that you told me about- was actually an offensive word because I did not know that when I said that. Please forgive me”. Good so far. Daniel then says, “I appreciate your apology now that you know the definition of the word”. Nelson is 32. I like that I’m only a year older than him. I wish we could be friends. I’d be we’d share some laughs.

Nelson is either a really good liar or very sincere (I feel like someone on the show said almost the same thing about Nelson this episode or last, too), because I totally bought his apology.

Catherine is very privileged and states, “I have learned to appreciate the old Savannah traditions”. She also says, “You never want to be excluded from something because you didn’t know how”.

Yeah, but most people don’t know how not because they’re unwilling to try but because they can’t afford what it costs to test out new activities and sports. Catherine, you might like to grab the bull by the horns, but those horns are so readily available to grab because of the history of slavery you are ok with your family and yourself continuing to profit from. Therefore, it annoys me that Catherine is talking like this to hype herself up as adventurous and willing to learn new things when her privilege is so wrapped-up in how she expresses these aspects of her personality.

Big Cat and Catherine arrive at this dressy event (all female bridge tournament) with lots of white women. Scenes like this make me scared and panicky when I imagine being put in this scenario. Thankfully, I don’t have to take part in scenarios like these really since my life ain’t about that, so I can just enjoy it from the outside in.

Ashley, the “harlot” in terms of her character type on the show and her portrayal, shows up to play bridge with the other women.

Ashley starts winning the game. Ashley asks Hannah to come out in the courtyard with her. What Ashley brings up came out of nowhere for me. If you don’t already know, last week Hannah met with a dressmaker to start working on her own line.

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(l to r: Ashley, Happy, Catherine, and Hannah during brighter times)

Ashley says, “The number one rule in business is you don’t step on people’s toes. She mentions to me about your dress line, I’m like, are you kidding me? I feed my child by doing fashion design and for you to go to someone else and not to me. It’s just one more thing to make me feel like I have the plague.” That is taking things way too personally Ashley. Hannah brought up how she felt to Ashley. Ashley played 100% victim card, and didn’t appear to listen to where Hannah was coming from.

Hannah looked bad during the one scene, but now Ashley looks like the fool here who is pushing way too hard to have a reason to hate-on Hannah.

To Ashley’s questioning of why Hannah didn’t go to fashionista Ashley, Hannah replies, “First of all, why do I need to tell you?”.

Ashley says, “It’s just common courtesy to mention it. Like that’s a big deal”.

As Happy eavesdrops on Hannah and Ashley’s convo, Happy says, “like my blood is boiling”. Yeah, because you’re a cunty bitch Happy.

Ashley adds this hilarious line when speaking about working for Delta airlines for 5 hours twice a week, “Sometimes I’ve even cleaned the toilet, but that has nothing to do with my styling career”. Touche!

Hannah kinds of shuts Ashley down by pointing out Hannah works for a trucking company and doesn’t think she is superior to Ashley.

“You’re about to have a rude awakening you know,” Ashley threatens Hannah.

“You sound super supportive right now. Thank-you,” is Hannah’s comeback to Ashley.

“You’re not going to talk over me, Ashley…I’m not afraid of you.” Hannah is about to start a Royal Rumble.

“I’m out. I’m going inside.” Ashley leaves…but then come back. They are going to work this out once and for all tonight (suuuuurreee they are). Both women agree to stop bitching about the other to other people. We’ll see if this happens.

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(Ashley is a very beautiful woman)

Hannah goes in and bitches to Catherine. Ashley smokes outside kind of being painted in a Cruella Devil-ian light.

 

 

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY: Circus of Emotions/I Have Not Been a Good Friend to You

Right out of the gate, LuAnn and her impending wedding to Tom D’Agostino is the focus of the episode, with forays into other people’s issues and lives of course, but it all seemed to somehow circle straight back to the women’s belief that Luann is making a huge mistake in marrying Tom.

I can see that they are contributing to Luann’s decision TO marry Tom, since they’re shaming her and crapping on her, and Luann probably feels so attacked she will stick to her guns rather than be bullied out of what she wants (since the women have now reached a level that would feel like bullying). And it’s already know that Luann is married to Tom in real life.

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(Tom and Luann)

Dorinda tells the camera, “I’m concerned i want to make sure she feels very comfortable about getting married”. This all sounds good, but enough is enough. Stop picking on Luann ladies, and just led her do her thing.

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(Dorinda Medley, 52, in Miami: lookin’ good)

Luann is in Dorinda’s living room at her home in the Berkshires and she says as a defense to the women’s critique of Tom’s female friends (and more?), “Jacques and I still text each other. I’m not going to change a 49 year-old man from who he was,” is what Luann says to shut the other women down.

This statement is interesting. I think it is very true. Luann is focusing on what is likely the truth here without denying that Tom hooks up with other women. All Luann does confirm is that she maintains a friendship with her ex and that you can’t change people. Avoidance. Yes. I see what you’re saying Luann. What if they did have an open relationship? Would people accept that? Nope. So I can see Luann’s frustration in that she can’t win either way.

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(Ramona Singer with those eyes…gotta love her)

Ramona pipes in, “He’s still kissing other women”. Ramona is so annoying because if anyone were to criticize Mario for his man-whoring ways (it was always obvious he was a player) Ramona would have lost it on people and been hyper-defensive about her marriage. As much as I love Ramona, this double standard makes her someone who I think that it would be hard to be friends with. Ramona is full of love, hilarious, and inspiring, but her intensity could be hard to take if I were her friend.

Luann throws out an argument that I don’t think stands up really when trying to prove someone isn’t a cheater. Luann says, “He’s with me all the time. 24/7” about her then-fiance Tom. Um. It’s actually impossible to be together all the time. But the fact that you hangout together 24/7, and you’re speaking in such a way that you want to prove you always have an eye on him, makes makes me wonder if Luann is insecure and so she wants to make sure she babysits Tom as much as possible, so he stops embarrassing her with the public hook-ups (if these hookups are actually happening…still speculative at this point).

The conversation ends with Luann saying, “I don’t have to explain myself.” That is true. I hate it when I feel backed against a wall and like I do have to explain myself. I don’t like spending time with people who make me feel that way.

“Sometimes you feel like the train has left the station, and you don’t know if you’re going to go through with it…” is what Bethenny says to Luann, trying to encourage her to get out before the wedding takes place.

“He has women friends. So?” LuAnn says to Bethenny in response.

Ramona then hits home about how he’s a repeat offender.

“I’m trying to protect her. Down the road this is going to happen again.” Ramona says.

She knows because of her relationship with Mario. Her ex-husband and big cheater. Apparently she caught Mario, the father of her 20-something daughter Avery, with another women at their home in the Hamptons. Ramona then gets overwhelmed and highly emotional while saying in typical Ramona-style, “It’s only going to get worse Luann, it’s nog going to get better”.

“Maybe there is something deeply hidden in there that it happened to me, so it’s going to happen to you.” Dorinda has this theory about Ramona’s response to Luann’s relationship. I think that Dorinda is dead-on!

Luann refuses to waver and states, “I wouldn’t walk down that aisle unless I was 100%. We are confident in who we are and we trust each other”.

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(Tom, Luann, Luann’s son Noel, and I’m guessing his girlfriend)

“Tricked guy syndrome is the guy who’s not that cute, gets a little bit of money later and needs to prove to everybody that they can have sex” is what Bethenny says about Tom. That is probably the case. I’ve known a few men like that who constantly needs to pursue any woman who responds to them because of insecurity. It sucks immensely to be with men like that.

Dorinda talking to her housekeeper Len is kind of funny, because I think it shows Dorinda’s bossiness. I’d like to be her friend, but I wouldn’t want to work for Dorinda.

Bethenny: “Luann’s like the Trump of relationships…Tom making out in a bar with a woman…that’s like locker room stuff…” I think Bethenny means to Luann it’s no big deal.

Finally, some Tinsley. Tinsley says, “I can relate to Luann sometimes you just don’t want to listen in my situation. It took a great fall (getting arrested) to realize…” the error of her ways.

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(Tinsley)

Bethenny is using Tom’s dick for her stand-up routine this week:

  • “His dick shoots diamond out the ends” Bethenny about Tom
  • “Tom must have a 48 karat penis. If that thing can handle Luann, it must be good”.

Ramona says to Sonja about Ramona’s rift with Bethenny: “I have to realize who she is…I made a big mistake. It wasn’t out of maliciousness and I will tell her this at some point…I’m confused and I’m never confused. I need to figure out a way to tell her without her telling me I’m the apologizer”.

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The focus throughout the episode remains on relationships. I like that and I think it’s interesting. Tinsley can’t date younger men anymore. “You really just have to go with your cut and your instinct and your heart”. This is Luann’s piece of advice to Tinsley.

“My instinct got me in the fucking toilet bowl,” Bethenny about her failed marriage. Dark.

“I am in a torture chamber…I’m in a very, very negative, torturous situation and I’m holding on by a thread. You’ll never know. Hopefully, you’ll never know” Bethenny to Luann. This is scary if Bethenny isn’t exaggerating. I know she’s in an excruciating amount of pain, but maybe not quite as much as a torture chamber.

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(Bethenny’s ex-husband Jason, her daughter Bryn, and Bethenny during happier times)

Luann is kind of saving the day here. Bethenny needs to stop publicly shitting on her daughter’s father. I don’t know what Jason Hoppy has done, but this sounds freaky. Either Bethenny is unfairly characterizing Jason in a negative manner, or if he is as cruel as she says he is, then I wonder if he has mental health problems. The torment Bethenny describes sounds like the work of someone who is not doing well mentally.

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(Bethenny and Luann)

“I didn’t go through shit. I’m in shit,” Bethenny about her relationship with her ex-husband and the father of her daugher.

“I thought you were done,” Luann says seeming genuinely concerned.

“I’ll never be done,” Bethenny says back to Luann. Wow. “I’m in goddamn hell and it will not end and it will never end,” is what Bethenny adds.

Then Bethenny goes on to say, “I sometimes feel hopeless and I sometimes feel like my ex is untouchable and I’m not going to be able to get out of this”.

That is really sad. I love Bethenny, so I hope she gets better.

Luann is the bigger person and doesn’t prey on Bethenny, like Bethenny did to Luann a year ago when Bethenny even called Luann a slut.

Then the Bethenny breakdown starts. Bethenny starts begging Luann not to marry Tom.

“It’s sad. It makes me sad,” is what Ramona says about Bethenny’s sadness and ex drama. I don’t believe that Ramona is able to look past her current blockage with Bethenny to have true compassion for Bethenny.

“I’m not going to share myself with anyone. I don’t share myself with anybody. I’m not ok.” is another disturbing thing that Bethenny tells Luann and Luann comforts her.

As insane as reality TV is, I do think there is something beneficial and cathartic about openly depicting the level of sadness and depression Bethenny is going through.

At this point in the night, Bethenny hopes Ramona will steer clear. Yeah, right!

Rhonyc Ramona Bethenny tense

So begins the elephant in the room talk.

Ramona’s defensive face is the same as my Mom’s. When Bethenny complains about how judgmental Ramona looks, Ramona responds with, “Bethenny I’m very expressive. That’s who I am. I’m emotional”. That kind of response is exactly what my own crazy old Mom would do too. It’s hard to talk to someone who is as emotional as my mom or Ramona.

“You have not been a good friend to me,” says Bethenny to Ramona.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Bethenny? I HAVE NOT BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU…” Ramona looks like she’s been possessed by the devil at the end of this episode so I’ll definitely have to tune in next week (as always).

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY: Tinsley Mortimer’s Mom Dale Is Harsh About Weight

(The above picture is of Tinsley, her mom Dale, and her sister Dabney Mercer)

So Tinsley took it a few steps deeper tonight by having her mom Dale (who is alive and very pulled-together) and her father (who was cremated in a wood box in the episode) share her screen time.

Whoa. Once Tinsley starts talking to her Mom about her childhood, she talks about coming home from camp and if she was skinny her Mom would give her a huge hug and act really happy to see her, but if she was bigger her Mom would limply hug her and show disappointment.

That sucks. While I was never really hot in high school because I ate too much food and didn’t exercise for most of high school, but I’m glad my Mom didn’t tell me to lose weight. Society and my own brain were pressure enough.

Dale, Tinsley’s Mom, looks incredible, since she must be in her 60s, so I respect her game in terms of maintaining her looks, but I wonder if she’ll maintain a facade at any and all costs.

I wanna know what Tinsley’s mom Dale said when Tinsley got arrested.

Ashley Borders Is A Standout: Southern Charm Savannah

So I watched Southern Charm Savannah episode 2 last night, and, to me at least, it is apparent that the series standout (maybe this will change) is Ashley Borders (Ashley’s Instagram).

It is easy to see why some women (aka the other boring bitches on the show) might not warm up to Ashley, because not only does Ashley have a super hot body, but she is willing to strip down to super revealing lingerie or bathing suits on a whim, whether this whim occurs on a golf course around 2 of her male friends or on a dock on a bayou (don’t even know if I’m using this word correctly, it might be a river Ashley jumped into, but I wanted to use bayou and hear the YOU part of the word echo in my head fifteen times over).

It does seem to me, but this is coming from a really uptight prudish person, that Ashley might use her sexiness to attract the attention of men in ways that seem somewhat desperate, especially when Ashley’s (estranged?) husband, Dennis, is standing a few feet away from her (as this is what happened in the first episode…Dennis, seems like a rather submissive man who wants his wife all to himself, but doesn’t have the nerve to challenge his partner because he wants her so bad). This is the downside to Ashley or what boring people might use to hate her. Ashley admits that they married because she was pregnant with her son Isaac, and that even though it is typical in Southern culture that everything is ok, Ashley is not happy.

ashley and husband southern charm savannah

(Ashley’s husband, Dennis, and Ashley as a brunette)

So while I cringed when Ashley strips down, because the others around her seem uncomfortable with it also, I love how OPEN she is.

To me, as an avid reality TV show consumer, it is incredibly important that one is OPEN and shares embarrassing, shocking, and/or painful information with the audience, because that is what makes an audience get attached to reality TV people/characters. I think the audience can smell bullshit, and people like Ramona on Real Housewives of New York City last the test of time because EVERYONE is a bit crazy, but many people try to conceal that rather than being upfront about it.

Ashley admits on episode 2 that she hasn’t had a sexual relationship with her husband since her son, Izzy (who I think is adorable), was born. According to Ashley’s Instagram account, Izzy just turned 13 3 days ago. On SC Savannah, Ashley says that Dennis and she divorced when he was a toddler and then got married again 8 years later. That’s a long time to go without boning your spouse!

 

Ashley’s relationship is something that I’d like to learn more about. Why is her husband hanging around and being identified as Ashley’s husband in the first episode if they’re not in a typical sexual husband-wife relationship? What I respect about Ashley is that she is honest and shares that her relationship is not conventional.

Does Ashley or her husband have sex outside of the relationship? This is something I’ll keep tuning in to find out. It seems like Ashley’s desire to strip down might reflect that she is very comfortable with her body and this might extend to being very sexual, but maybe she also strips down because she is sex deprived and needs to feel hot in some way if her husband isn’t doing it for her or making Ashley feel desirable.

Anyways, the other people on this show seem pretty boring and generic so far, so if it weren’t for Ashley I don’t know if I’d keep watching. Southern Charm OG is a tough act to follow, so we’ll see how well Savannah does.

Why Is Brad Pitt More Comfortable With The R-word Than The A-word?

Brad Pitt has just done an interview with GQ, and in it he reveals the most in a long time about himself, his divorce, and his kids (but nothing juicy about Angelina specifically).

Anyways, he basically acknowledges his own role in the divorce without critiquing Jolie, that must take some control because she can’t be perfect, and points to his own partying and alcohol consumption as big problems.

B.P. then goes on to say that he hasn’t drank for 6 months. Prior to that he describes himself as “retarded” (I thought all politically correct folks knew this word is a no-no nowadays…especially when it is being used in the way that refers to moving backwards or regressing. Many people with mental handicaps are progressing and represent inspiring examples of human beings, and since the word “retarded” ended-up often being used with the intention of making someone with a mental disability or challenge viewed as less than others, which is wrong and inaccurate) in an emotional sense. Pitt claims that he wasn’t good at showing his emotions, and infers that he repeated his own father’s example of, “Father knows best” and a “war mentality”.

While I don’t know Brad Pitt at all, it was surprising that he referred to himself using the r-word (which I must admit I still use in my vehicle during road-rage so I contribute to the negative prejudice that the word promotes towards people with mental disability’s as well) he wouldn’t flat-out label himself an “alcoholic”, which it sounds like he is, since he is now abstaining from alcohol entirely. When asked why he choose to quit drinking Pitt simply said, “Don’t want to live that way anymore”.

I enjoyed this interview, and it re-established my Pitt Fandom, I think he is going to put out something incredible soon, but it did make me think of how harshly our society judges alcoholics when someone prefers to use the r-word (which I thought he would know enough to steer clear from) to describe themselves over the a-word. R-word is offensive because it has a history of being used to put people down.

I’m an alcoholic and I don’t mind the label, because my life is much less scary with my own self-labelling of alcoholic than it was when I refused to call myself an alcoholic. So maybe alcoholic has a huge negative association for some people, but in terms of my own self-perception it doesn’t, and maybe that is why I’m wondering what makes Brad Pitt so scared to call himself an alcoholic (maybe court will judge him more harshly with his kids if he does, who knows?).

Maybe it means nothing at all.