mtv canada

This May Be Pathetic, But A SPEIDI Pregnancy Pic Has Brightened My Day!

So since I’m Canadian and we had Canada Day on Saturday, July 1st and the subsequent day off for Monday-Friday peeps Monday, then July 4th in the US on Tuesday, I’m feeling a little down and depressed about how FUCKED UP this world is.

I also watched an HBO documentary, Requiem for the Dead: American Spring 2014, that was fascinating, because it told individual, specific stories rather than simply focusing on overarching statistics (which is a storytelling style I find boring and lacking impact) related to gun violence. Seeing specific stories told over and over again throughout the film against the occasional backdrop of a running tally of how many thousands of people died due to gun violence in the US during the months of March to June 2014 is sickening and I think it hints at how frightening America is. Here’s a link (click here to go to IMDB page for doc) to the IMDB description of the documentary that I strongly recommend. It will take something out of you though (or at least it did that to me), so be ready for it, since it’s not a casual night of after-work viewing. Not relaxing I shall say. I was intrigued, but left with a greater sense of hopelessness.

I needed a pick-me-up this morning. So looking at these very persistent reality TV people, who I’ve been watching since Princes of Malibu (Spencer…still can’t find this show to download and I really wish I could) and The Hills (or maybe even Heidi popped up on Laguna Beach, I feel bad for not knowing, though I shouldn’t) makes me have hope that I can’t always predict the future. I never thought Heidi and Spencer would make it in the long run (at least 10 years now) and not long enough to create a child together.

They’re a bit wacky, but aren’t we all. I guarantee they have many beliefs I find offensive, but yet beneath at all, from watching these people for so long, I can’t help but wish for their happiness and a bright future free from an obsession with very large crystals.

Amy Schumer’s Now Ex-BF Had a Case of the “Too Good to be Trues”

I never liked this guy (Amy Schumer’s boyfriend and now ex Ben Hanisch). While Schumer was with him, I started to like her less as well. He seems like a fame whore and a yes man. Of course, I might just be a big bitch and totally wrong about this, but if I had to “read” their sitch I would have described it in a negative or unbelievable manner.

I hope Schumer finds someone who is more her equal. And I hope she starts to get funny again.

Ashley Borders Is A Standout: Southern Charm Savannah

So I watched Southern Charm Savannah episode 2 last night, and, to me at least, it is apparent that the series standout (maybe this will change) is Ashley Borders (Ashley’s Instagram).

It is easy to see why some women (aka the other boring bitches on the show) might not warm up to Ashley, because not only does Ashley have a super hot body, but she is willing to strip down to super revealing lingerie or bathing suits on a whim, whether this whim occurs on a golf course around 2 of her male friends or on a dock on a bayou (don’t even know if I’m using this word correctly, it might be a river Ashley jumped into, but I wanted to use bayou and hear the YOU part of the word echo in my head fifteen times over).

It does seem to me, but this is coming from a really uptight prudish person, that Ashley might use her sexiness to attract the attention of men in ways that seem somewhat desperate, especially when Ashley’s (estranged?) husband, Dennis, is standing a few feet away from her (as this is what happened in the first episode…Dennis, seems like a rather submissive man who wants his wife all to himself, but doesn’t have the nerve to challenge his partner because he wants her so bad). This is the downside to Ashley or what boring people might use to hate her. Ashley admits that they married because she was pregnant with her son Isaac, and that even though it is typical in Southern culture that everything is ok, Ashley is not happy.

ashley and husband southern charm savannah

(Ashley’s husband, Dennis, and Ashley as a brunette)

So while I cringed when Ashley strips down, because the others around her seem uncomfortable with it also, I love how OPEN she is.

To me, as an avid reality TV show consumer, it is incredibly important that one is OPEN and shares embarrassing, shocking, and/or painful information with the audience, because that is what makes an audience get attached to reality TV people/characters. I think the audience can smell bullshit, and people like Ramona on Real Housewives of New York City last the test of time because EVERYONE is a bit crazy, but many people try to conceal that rather than being upfront about it.

Ashley admits on episode 2 that she hasn’t had a sexual relationship with her husband since her son, Izzy (who I think is adorable), was born. According to Ashley’s Instagram account, Izzy just turned 13 3 days ago. On SC Savannah, Ashley says that Dennis and she divorced when he was a toddler and then got married again 8 years later. That’s a long time to go without boning your spouse!

 

Ashley’s relationship is something that I’d like to learn more about. Why is her husband hanging around and being identified as Ashley’s husband in the first episode if they’re not in a typical sexual husband-wife relationship? What I respect about Ashley is that she is honest and shares that her relationship is not conventional.

Does Ashley or her husband have sex outside of the relationship? This is something I’ll keep tuning in to find out. It seems like Ashley’s desire to strip down might reflect that she is very comfortable with her body and this might extend to being very sexual, but maybe she also strips down because she is sex deprived and needs to feel hot in some way if her husband isn’t doing it for her or making Ashley feel desirable.

Anyways, the other people on this show seem pretty boring and generic so far, so if it weren’t for Ashley I don’t know if I’d keep watching. Southern Charm OG is a tough act to follow, so we’ll see how well Savannah does.

Why Is Brad Pitt More Comfortable With The R-word Than The A-word?

Brad Pitt has just done an interview with GQ, and in it he reveals the most in a long time about himself, his divorce, and his kids (but nothing juicy about Angelina specifically).

Anyways, he basically acknowledges his own role in the divorce without critiquing Jolie, that must take some control because she can’t be perfect, and points to his own partying and alcohol consumption as big problems.

B.P. then goes on to say that he hasn’t drank for 6 months. Prior to that he describes himself as “retarded” (I thought all politically correct folks knew this word is a no-no nowadays…especially when it is being used in the way that refers to moving backwards or regressing. Many people with mental handicaps are progressing and represent inspiring examples of human beings, and since the word “retarded” ended-up often being used with the intention of making someone with a mental disability or challenge viewed as less than others, which is wrong and inaccurate) in an emotional sense. Pitt claims that he wasn’t good at showing his emotions, and infers that he repeated his own father’s example of, “Father knows best” and a “war mentality”.

While I don’t know Brad Pitt at all, it was surprising that he referred to himself using the r-word (which I must admit I still use in my vehicle during road-rage so I contribute to the negative prejudice that the word promotes towards people with mental disability’s as well) he wouldn’t flat-out label himself an “alcoholic”, which it sounds like he is, since he is now abstaining from alcohol entirely. When asked why he choose to quit drinking Pitt simply said, “Don’t want to live that way anymore”.

I enjoyed this interview, and it re-established my Pitt Fandom, I think he is going to put out something incredible soon, but it did make me think of how harshly our society judges alcoholics when someone prefers to use the r-word (which I thought he would know enough to steer clear from) to describe themselves over the a-word. R-word is offensive because it has a history of being used to put people down.

I’m an alcoholic and I don’t mind the label, because my life is much less scary with my own self-labelling of alcoholic than it was when I refused to call myself an alcoholic. So maybe alcoholic has a huge negative association for some people, but in terms of my own self-perception it doesn’t, and maybe that is why I’m wondering what makes Brad Pitt so scared to call himself an alcoholic (maybe court will judge him more harshly with his kids if he does, who knows?).

Maybe it means nothing at all.

Am I Too Uptight Because I Think It’s Weird When A 5 Year-old Wears Lots Of Make-up?

This is Jessica Simpson posing with her daughter (the child on the left dressed as a mermaid) Maxwell, who just turned 5, as well as her husband Eric and son Ace.

It creeps me out that her daughter has so much make-up on! Yes, my mind immediately goes to child predators and the way in which Maxwell might already believe that getting attention for how one looks is the most gratifying or satisfying kind of attention there is.I don’t think it is, but maybe that’s only because I haven’t received a lot of attention for my looks, so I’ve had to seek  out self acceptance elsewhere. I think it can be dangerous when a person primarily defines themselves based on how hot they are, and yes, I’m judging because the picture of 5 year-old Maxwell makes me think Jessica Simpon is messing with her child’s head. Oh, and it is very, very important to note, I am not a parent. Therefore, that makes me extra bitchy and annoying because I’m commenting on Jessica Simpson’s parenting (I do love Jessica Simpson, I think I still have some of the Newlyweds on DVD…she’s a goofy person) even though I have no clue how hard it is to be a parent.

Oh My God! This is the Best Outfit Ever: JLo Steals Met Gala

J.Lo is now officially my human Barbie doll.

This is J.Lo and A.Rod arriving at the 2017 Met Gala in New York City on May 1st, 2017. If I could have found a special edition Barbie doll that looked like this when I was 12 (yes, while some girls had boyfriends, I had a thing for keeping collector’s Barbie’s in their original boxes), I would have totally spent $60 on it.

Love you J.Lo! If you’re looking for a nod to J.Lo’s classic “If You Had My Love” as it is perfectly sampled on the sexy song Teenage Dream by Drake.

Things that are nice on the eyes are okay to enjoy sometimes, right?

A. Rod looks kind of goofy and like he doesn’t really know how to deal with being there, but on a positive note he really looks proud to be there with J.Lo and since I do love J.Lo, I think any man on her arm should be proud to be with such a hard-working entertainer.

Finally, A Story That Made Me Happy: Southern Charm’s Craig Conover Finally Passed Bar Exam

I saw this People magazine story yesterday and I realized that discipline and perseverance in the face of adversity persist after all when I found out Southern Charm’s (one of my top, if not THE top reality show, show I’m watching–in my opinion) Craig Conover finally passed the bar exam.

He was publicly shamed at the end of the last season (the 3rd) when he was pushed to reveal on the reunion that he can’t write the bar exam because he failed to finish law school. His final term paper was never turned in.

The rest of the cast appeared shocked to learn that Craig had been lying to them for 3 seasons. I’m not sure how many actual years that is, but probably at least 2, since season 1.

Anyways, though Craig is a bit of a tool sometimes, he does have a certain sweetness and he seems very focused on doing the right thing, even if it’s undeniable that he often doesn’t DO THE RIGHT THING (haven’t seen that movie in a while-may be revisiting it soon).

Conover’s best moment this season (4) so far, again in my opinion since I’m the one writing this and there’s no statistical way found out yet to determine whether or not this is more than an opinion and truly accurate) is when after a polo match, his co-star and apparent friend Thomas Ravenel is sitting with some other cast members as his two children, Kenzie and Saint, (who he fathered as a 50 plus lifelong bachelor with the now 24 year-old Kathryn Dennis and who he has full custody of) are pushed on a stroller by their nanny behind them. 3 year-old Kenzie is yelling out, “Daddy! Daddy!” but he ignores her and continues talking to the people around them.

Craig takes issue with this (it felt super weird to me too…just say hi to your daughter since she is clearly happy to see you) and told Thomas in Craig’s very nasally voice to go say hi to his daughter. Thomas kind of tells Craig to fuck off and Craig walks away pissed. This moment is where Craig’s midwestern sensibility really shines through.

southern charm naomie olindo craig conover

Congrats to Craig and his girlfriend Naomie Olindo who seemed about ready to dump him if he didn’t get it together and finally do something with his life (not to say at all that this is something I’ve accomplished myself, but still aiming for it)!

This What GOD Feel Like

kendrick smiling aint perfect 2017Kendrick Lamar. GOD. A song off his new album DAMN. Oh my gosh, when do I ever love a song the first time I’m listening to it.

Haven’t even touched on his full album yet.

Wow. Yay. Spring needed this on Easter especially. Ha.

Orly Bloom Acknowledges How Unimportant He Is Next To Katy Perry

 

I’ve never been an Orlando Bloom fan. I’ve never hated him, but I’ve also never felt drawn to him. To me, he comes off like some good-looking guy who doesn’t really have any idea what it’s like to be a normal person.

The video of Bloom trying to punch-out Bieber was the only thing I’ve seen of Orlando Bloom on fancy film or paparazzi film that I’ve found interesting.

But now…after Orlando and Katy P. are broken up, and she flirts via Twitter with aging but still very hot man Ryan Phillippe, he has finally said something that makes me think Orlando Bloom might have some perspective or awareness of himself in terms of public perception. About his break-up with Katy Perry he said this: “She happens to be someone who is very visible, but I don’t think anybody cares about what I’m up to. Nor should they” (according to x17online.com).

If he continues to show this kind of depth then maybe I’d actually go see him in a movie at the theatre. It takes A LOT for me to haul my ass to the theatre, and it’s not because I’m lazy, it’s because I am anti-social and prefer to consume movies, tv, music, etc. in the privacy of my relative solitude (except for my boyfriend and 3 cats) of my own apartment. The last thing I went to the theatre to see was Moonlight. It was worth the trip.

So, yeah, maybe, just maybe, I might end up directly spending some cash on Mr. Bloom, who just turned 40 and still looks quite young and/or healthy, for his ability to entertain me.

 

Placement of Heidi’s Other Hand is Everything in this Pic

It’s funny this news story has come out today because two nights ago I had a sudden craving for Speidi and The Hills was the show I had playing in my bedroom prior to falling asleep (much to my boyfried’s chagrin…no matter how hard I try I can’t get him to obsess over reality TV or even enjoy it remotely as much as I do), so it’s I’m excited to see they’re having a baby!

If I recall, even back in the day when The Hills was still airing Spencer never wanted to have a baby and Heidi was trying to talk him into it.

Well, maybe Heidi will lead us to believe things have changed (and somehow use this public front as her opinion to lock-down a new reality show over how Spencer reacts to having to share his MA-MA/wife), but if you look at Heidi’s right hand gripped like a tentacle tightly around the hand Spencer is using to create a heart over her belly there is evidence of a bit of tension (in my opinion only, of course).

Haaahahhaah! I can imagine Spencer’s old friends who see this at the grocery store (I typed supermarket first, yet I never say that out loud and I’m not an American…why?) cracking up at the thought of Spencer morphing into a totally loving, kind person as a dad.

So, it kinds of looks like Heidi’s hand is screaming,”You will love this child Spencer!” as Spencer thinks of ways to simultaneously escape the relationship and further obsess over Heidi, because she’s the only one fucked-up enough to deal with his many issues.

But I also have many issues, including a bed temper and a tendency towards paranoia like Spencer, so not only do I have compassion for Spencer’s insanity, I also want to see another Speidi reality show please! Bravo scoop them up from MTV already…or maybe there needs to be a Princes of Malibu Season 2? Brody could use the work.