#laineygossip

Hanging Out with My Boyfriend and My Ex

Never thought I’d type that as an article title. Last night I felt like I was living a scene out of a reality TV show.

I’ll provide some background, 7 years ago to the exact day I started working at a restaurant in Vancouver that’s been open for 50 plus years. My first night at work I met a guy who I’ll call Joe. He started openly hitting on me as he does with basically all women that he meets. I remember specifically saying, “We should never been in a room alone together”. I thought he was attractive but I also felt like he seemed like a huge asshole. The prototypical bad boy. It took a few months for me to cave and start hooking up with him. I was so lonely at the time. It’d been a year and a half since I’d hooked up with anyone.

Joe was a player that was even more fucked-up than I imagined. After we hooked up for the first time he invited me over to his place in the morning. Once I arrived, this girl who I thought was his ex was there on his bed (clothed thankfully) and his male friend. They were all high on coke. Joe started rolling around on the bed with his male friend and trying to touch the girl. He then tried to come sit on the couch (aka which was really a backseat from a van) where I was and touch me. I wasn’t feeling it. Since it was early in the morning and they’d been up on coke all night, they passed out shortly after I got there. I made my quiet exit. Clearly that would have been more than enough to make a confident person walk away, but I wasn’t confident at the time. I was pulled in even more. I would make this guy like me.

The hook-ups with Joe continued. I became increasingly obsessed with him while he flaunted having sex with other girls and critiquing every part of my appearance in a negative manner. At work, he would yell at me and treat me like shit. And yet, I kept coming back for me. I wasn’t an innocent in all this. I was emotionally abusive myself. After he’d ditch me to go hang out with another girl I’d text him endless insults and harass him. We were both behaving in psychotic ways.

After months of conflict and continuing to hook-up, we got in an epic fight. Joe threw me down on his bed and put all his weight on top of me, without realizing my left wrist was being bent back. My wrist was sprained. I had never been in a physically abusive relationship before. Yet, this restaurant I was working at represented the first community I felt like I was a part of in Vancouver. I didn’t want to leave this community behind in order to stop being around Joe. Eventually, after a trip to the hospital for a night after a mental breakdown, I stopped all communication with Joe outside of work. Months after I had stopped seeing or texting him he yelled at me in front of the packed restaurant. That was the last shift I worked there. I quit and Joe stayed on.

My current boyfriend, Ian, also works at the same restaurant. I never hooked up with him until I quit working at the restaurant, but part of what helped me quit is that I felt like something could start with Ian and that made me excited and hopeful. I’ve been with Ian for 6 years now. I definitely don’t regret quitting the restaurant. I have a job I love that challenges me and is not in the restaurant industry.

Well, last night my boyfriend went to work and then he started texting me that the manager (who he was also in a band with and who he’s been friends with for over 20 years) told him that Joe smashed the Buddha statue at work and broke its finger off and lost it and quit the restaurant. Joe’s worked there for 17 years. Most people there have worked there for at least 10 years. People tend to stick around because there is a sense of community there that can be hard to find in Vancouver. But communities often have costs that come with being a part of the group.

By the time I picked my boyfriend up after work last night, he said that Joe had called him and was texting him. They’re not friends, but they have known each other for a long time. Joe was looking for some support.

We almost never hang out with Joe, but we invited him over since he lives a couple blocks away. Joe basically he said he reached his limit with another co-worker who likes to stir-up shit and he had to draw a line in the sand. He said he’s been working graves for this restaurant for 17 years and enough is enough, he can’t take it anymore.

This all led to Joe eventually apologizing for the circumstances surrounding how I quit the restaurant. He said sorry, which I’d never heard him say before. I also got an answer to a question I had always wondered about. The day I quit the restaurant 6 years ago, I went out to a bar that Ian and another co-worker (who Ian was fucking) were hanging out at. I had a crush on Ian but since he was hooking up with our co-worker, I didn’t know if anything would come of my crush and I didn’t think it was reciprocated.

I was sitting in the bar when Ian came down and sat beside me and said that the manager had called Ian to ask about me quitting. This made no sense since Ian wasn’t involved in the conflict between Joe and I. Apparently Joe told the manager to call Ian to find out why I quit. I was angry that Joe did this but also surprised. All of my feelings for Joe hadn’t been shared with anyone else. Joe had hit on me, but he was hitting on lots of people at that time–as he had just been brutally dumped by his girlfriend of 7 years. I was looking for someone that wanted to seriously date me. I didn’t want another Joe-like situation so I didn’t give in at that point to Ian’s advances.

Therefore, I was like, why the hell is Joe telling the manager to call Ian? What does Ian have to do with my quitting? Yes, in my mind part of what helped me quit was the hope something could happen with Ian (and I didn’t want to hook-up with a co-worker again), but how would Joe know that? I held on to that question for 6 years.

Finally, last night I asked Joe if he remembered telling the manager to call Ian after I quit 6 years ago. I explained I’d never hooked up with Ian at that point so what made Joe tell the manager to call Ian. Joe said that his dick is 4 inches but Ian’s is 5. Ian’s is bigger than 5. Ian is well-endowed but I’m not sure how Joe knows that. Anyways, to me this was Joe’s way of saying that he psychically or perceptively knew I was into Ian more than him when I quit. That’s kind of what I thought all along.

Last night was cathartic, because I apologized for being emotionally abusive. Joe apologized for doing things like taking a call from another fuck-buddy while in bed with me. That situation did really hurt me. I had to convince and beg him not to leave me and go pick up this other girl (who was supposedly walking the street in a short skirt drunk at dawn). My self-esteem was so low back then. I’m still not nearly as confident as I want to be, but observing Joe last night with his red-wine stained lips, greasy hair and bad B.O. reminded me of how far I’ve come. I didn’t feel attracted to Joe. I felt bad for him and like he hasn’t changed one bit. His rage issues are still running his life. It sounded more like he’s been fired from the restaurant than his initial claim that he quit. The apology helped though. It really did. Also, it made me love Ian more for helping Joe out in a time of need by letting him have us to talk to and for helping me let go of some past shit.

Too bad it wasn’t filmed, because it would have been quite entertaining I think!

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Teddi Reminds Me To Stop Saying I Never Lie

I am someone that really prides myself on being honest. But Teddi having to own up to initially taking part in the Puppygate scandal on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on season 9 reminds me that I should stop saying I never lie.

Teddi looks almost as bad as Lisa Vanderpump for being unwilling to admit from the start what her role was in trying to make Dorit look bad for giving a puppy from Vanderpump Dogs to a woman who then took it to a shelter as opposed to returning it to LVP.

Lisa won’t take accountability AT ALL so that makes her look like a huge asshole who is also a liar. Teddi went out of her way multiple times to claim she was innocent in the matter before Teddi finally admits she was initially up for trying to make Dorit look bad for giving the dog away.

mar 27 19 rhobh teddi and john mellencamp.jpg

I think it’s good Teddi realized this is some dirty shit she ultimately didn’t want to be a part of, but she shouldn’t have acted so high and mighty by saying she’s never lied in her entire life.

I think it’s safe to say that everybody has lied at some point in their lives. That doesn’t mean people have cheated and hid it or did some other big, huge deceitful thing, but I still think it’s better to say I work really hard to be honest and rarely lie. Teddi seemed so convincing in terms of how much she believed she what was saying about never lying that it makes me feel like Teddi isn’t nearly as accountable as she says she is. It makes me think Teddi thinks she’s better than other people! Nobody’s perfect, Teddi. This could negatively affect her business too since Teddi is all about promoting and profiting off of accountability.

I also can’t stand how Teddi keeps saying she hid how much of a role she started off playing in Puppygate to protect Dorit. Yeah right! I think it was Teddi trying to protect herself. I think Teddi also is now trying to build a real relationship with Dorit, but more than anything Teddi didn’t want to reveal how bitchy and shady she was being early on.

WHAT HAPPENS AT THE ABBEY: Heidi Montag, What, What?

As much as I wanted to not want to watch What Happens at the Abbey I caved tonight, and, as per usual, I am now getting more into the Show.

First there’s Daniel and Ashlee’s cooking session at Ashlee’s place. Daniel is my favourite character so far. He seems geeky and like he’s not as a fakeass as some others. It’s clear that Ashlee isn’t used to guys doing anything other than blushing and doing whatever she asks in her presence. I like that Daniel doesn’t just flatter her ego the whole time.

I want to see more DANIEL!

Ashlee eventually becomes infuriated with the date, and says, “Daniel is dumb as a brick.”

“You’re not very nice, are you?” Daniel says in response. Go boy! Yes, I am a lifelong awkward girl, so I always get some satisfaction when a beautiful girl gets shut down a bit.

“Me doing some charity work at this point” Ashlee is another description she uses for her date(?) with Daniel. I don’t think either of these people thought it was a date or have any chemistry.

Daniel’s strength with women I think is that he’s not intimidated by their beauty. It seems like he knows that lots of hot girls are arrogant, so he refuses to further hype-up beautiful ladies’ egos (based on the little CA-COW/CO-COH cooking session with Ashlee).

Billy knows what he’s good for and that’s taking that shirt off” Kyle about Billy while Billy takes his shirt off in front of Marissa’s Mom. I think her mom has good instincts and she can tell Kyle is a player. I get that feeling, too. I like that she let him sweat, because he is interested in her daughter, so it’s only right a mom should make a “suitor” sweat.

Ha! Marissa and her Mom were really cute. I like her mom alot! My Mom, my sister, Nat, and I were all total celeb stalkers during my childhood, so I totally relate to the storyline where Marissa gets embarrassed by her mom when they’re at The Abbey and reality tv dynasty Heidi Montag is there.

Aww, of course sweet Heidi tells Marissa to, “Follow your dreams”. Heidi might be cray-cray, but she’s sweet, too. So weird to see her out for a night without Spencer. Where’s he hiding?

“Heidi Montag is literally everything.” Marissa says about Heidi. Heidi is pretty awesome and a pioneer in the reality tv genre.

Lawrence then wants to tell his father that he is having a baby with Brandi: “We have to break the news to him that we are starting a family”.

“We HAVE to” says it all. Shouldn’t it be exciting to tell your family if they’re supportive?

Divorce. Lawrence parents forced the kids to choose when they got divorce. My sister and I were involved in an ugly custody battle (my sister had to testify in court against my Dad, but I didn’t testify, just wrote a letter the judge read) and it has had a permanent effect on me in that I still am recovering from emotional trauma inflicted during that time (I do think I’ve improved so much though). Lawrence says his parents were breaking up and at the airport going in two different directions. His parents told him and his brother to choose. He says his brother choose his father, then his brother grabbed Lawrence to come with him. Heartbreaking, and the saddest part of all, “I saw my Mom go in the opposite direction”. That’s a sad story. Custody battles are cruel towards the children first and foremost.

Lawrence tells his Dad, “We’re going to have a baby. You will be a grandfather.”

Brandi: “I’m also gay.”

His dad asks, “What if you decided that you go separate ways?”

Brandi then says, “I don’t feel like it would happen….I wouldn’t up and move somewhere else.”

I love what Lawrence dad says! His dad tells them, “This is like remarkable. Thank-you. You couldn’t have done anything more to honour me.” Lawrence’s Dad to Lawrence and Brandi. Everyone starts crying.

Whoa. I’m so pessimistic.

Brandi then says about Lawrence’s dad, “He (Lawrence) was finally able to get over a bridge that he feel like he burnt with his father” is what Brandi says about the pregnancy. To play devil’s advocate this repairing of a burnt bridge is kind of insane if Lawrence felt like he had to atone for being gay. If the only reason his father was disappointed he was gay is because he couldn’t have kids with another man then that’s ok. But if his dad truly hated Lawrence being gay and that is something Lawrence still puts on himself as a bridge he burnt and needed to repair, well then I think his dad should realize Lawrence has done nothing wrong or disappointing in being gay.

UPDATE: I tweeted my article to Lawrence and he read it.He tweeted in response to my tweet, “Thanks for the review! Just want it to be clear that my father has never been disappointed in me”. and “I was disappointed in myself for not having the courage to come out to him face2face, he found out from someone else”. 

Glad we cleared that up! I was wrong and Lawrence’s dad never held Lawrence being gay against him. Lawrence’s dad is pretty cool!