lainey gossip

RHONY-Should Renew Sonja’s Contract After Lines Like This: “Cause When That Woman(Ramona)’s Gettin’ Banged, She’s Happy!”

Ha! Sonja said this about Ramona this week that when Ramona and Mario (her ex-husband) used to be married, he was banging her every night (or I guess every night when he wasn’t banging someone else, since she acknowledged he was a cheater—totally had that vibe, too). Sonja is in a hot tub in Mexico on this weeks episode of Real Housewives of New York City as she says about Ramona that she’s sad because she’s not getting enough sex.

Sonja displays her clever wit and no shame in the jokes game when she says about Ramona, “’cause when that woman’s getting banged, she’s happy!” Man, Sonja is funny!

Andy Cohen knows that with lines like that Sonja is going to be some dollars sent her way next season too.

I Still Like Angelina Jolie: Refer Back to GIA If In Doubt

So here’s a link (Angelina Jolie Vanity Fair article) to the first interview Angelina Jolie’s given since her split from Brad Pitt.

Of course she doesn’t give away too much. We knew she wouldn’t. Angelina definitely doesn’t seem like a person who just up and spills the beans.

Anyways, after the final line of the article I was left with the feeling of still liking Angelina, even though we’ve, or really I’ve, had my ups-and-downs in relation to how much I like or love her.

angelina jolie gia ad

(Angelina Jolie in Gia: check this one out, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed)

I fell in love with Angelina Jolie in grade 9 (. I remember renting the HBO movie about the supermodel, Gia Carangi, who was HIV positive. Gia was a wild woman, bi-sexual, an intravenous drug user, and played by the gorgeous Angelina Jolie. Do I think Jolie’s normal? If normal means a version of a person I come across many times over, then no. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone quite as beautiful as Jolie in real life. She is a freak of nature and a very good freak at that.

Gia Carangi

(The real life Gia Carangi: captivating)

Plus, I got to see Angelina’s gorgeous body naked, with her boobs smashing up against a fence on a photo shoot set in the film. My Mom, I think because she was a much older married-man’s mistress for all of my post-pubescent years, tried to be overly pious in her views as a way to counterbalance her own less than savoury lifestyle and source of income. Anyways, due to my Mom’s own issues, I wasn’t allowed to really be sexual, look sexy, talk about sex, think of having or enjoying sex, etc., so it was a big guilty pleasure for me to get to see this wild behaviour on screen since my own grade 9 life was boring. Also, I was a bit overweight, not confident in my looks or self, and an outcast in some of my classes who guys definitely avoided and definitely weren’t into, so the life of Gia as played to perfection by Jolie was an ultimate fantasy for me. I wished I could be like Gia/Jolie (minus all of the bad stuff that happened to
Gia/Jolie)!

What affected me the most after seeing my first Angelina Jolie film was that even though I thought at the time she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, I wanted to hang out with her. I actually felt better about myself while watching her. I felt like if we were hanging she’d be nice to me, get me, and see the beauty in me. Yes, those are big mental leaps to make just from watching her in Gia, but that was what her performance invoked in me. Usually, when I watched people like Gwyneth Paltrow, I didn’t feel good about myself after. I felt like I wasn’t skinny enough, cool enough, and I didn’t think Gwynnie would even notice me if we met.

Angelina just seemed to have a big heart and a love for people. I have no idea why other than maybe I felt that because that is who she is to most people. Unless you cross her. I’m sure she’s done cruel things to Brad Pitt. I’m sure he’s done cruel things to her.

But at the end of the day, as this article reminded me, even though they look so perfect, there is still something about them people love and I think it is a vulnerability.

At the end of the Vanity Fair article, Jolie says, “Let’s embrace not being normal”. This is all I can do, as I’m too damaged and weird to ever be normal again. Anyone who loves to not be normal is someone I want to hang out with.

Angelina maybe you stole someone’s husband, I don’t know and I actually don’t care if you did, I still love you and I’m a fan in 2017 just as I was watching Jolie in Gia in 1999.

Safety for Transgender People Further Threatened Due To Trump

Trump has decided that transgender people will no longer be accepted into the US military (CNN discusses this) and those transgender people who are already serving (thanks to the progress the Obama administration made) will somehow be phased out, as if they’re a trend not humans.

The public reasoning behind Trump’s decision is supposedly to lower health care expenditures and prevent disruption, yet an analysis I read suggests that any money spend on transgender people’s specific health care costs pale in comparison to the overall money spent by the defense fund each year on soldiers’ health care (something like $49 billion compared to 8 million, but I’m not double checking sources here so please do that before believing my memory of a statistic). Shockingly, or not, it seems as if Trump is misrepresenting the reasoning behind his decision. Not like this is out of the ordinary though, as I have a feeling this is going to be his M.O. till the day he dies.

I guess Trump doesn’t give a fuck about whether or not his decision increases the divisiveness between soldiers and civilians. I think it will. And I think it is a false assumption that having trans and cis people working together in the army is disruptive, when in reality the leader of the country saying trans people aren’t accepted in the army is what is likely going to create more disruption than continuing to progress and allow people to identify as they choose to.

Now I think soldiers who are cis who’d be open to socializing and supporting trans military personnel may no longer feel safe doing so in case the cis people also have their jobs get threatened because of some stupid idea that “birds of a feather flock together” and the military brass might start to become paranoid and think a cis person can’t be friends with a trans person. Maybe all of my fears about what Trump’s decision is going to cause within the US military and the US as a whole are exaggerated and totally off base. Maybe they’re not.

Hopefully, there will be enough push back to have this decision reversed. Maybe Trump will be exposed to more ideas that might trigger his brain to stop for a second and consider the possibility that trans people don’t pose any threat to other people. How one wants their body to look, their name to be, their voice to sound, and the decision to claim the identity that one feels is right does not mean there is something devious, sinister, or bad about a person. Lying, stealing, cheating, abusing, murdering, and doing other forms of harm to others and oneself are the types of things (dramatic cough ahem ahem) that should be banned from the army and that should be feared, not being trans. Yes, I am passive-aggressively taking jabs at Trump, because at a bare minimum based on his own words I know that he is okay with using his power to sexually assault women. So yes, I hate Trump plain and simple for this reason alone, because I think he does the things he should fear, not trans people (which is not to say all trans people are perfect, every human is a combination of both good and bad and it’s an ongoing struggle for everybody to be a better person..I am just focusing on Trump’s bad parts because they affect too many people to go uncriticized).

It is so sad and VERY SCARY (I feel scared and I’m not even the one being targeted specifically, but aren’t we all being targeted when society tries to restrict things about your identity that shouldn’t be other people’s business or choice?) that Trump has decided to target trans people not just in the army but everywhere. I am thinking of people who are trans or identify under the LGBTQ umbrella and who live in a small town, who don’t have the money to move to a big, more evolved city space (not that all city spaces are evolved, but some pockets tend to be–again most often for those with $$$), who don’t have the confidence or positive reinforcement yet (for some people sadly this day never comes) to see that being treated poorly for one’s gender identity or sexuality is unacceptable, and who get targeted with threats of violence, experience violence. There are trans people being murdered in the US each year (for example this former soldier was just sentence in the US last week for murdering a transgender woman after the soldier had a sexual encounter with her) for stepping outside of the lines of these rigid, life-threatening gender binaries that people like Trump appear to cling to at any and all costs.

I don’t know how this is going to end. I am so lucky in that my gender identity conforms to gender ideals and I’ve never been targeted in the way trans people continue to be. Just because I’m not targeted doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to me though. It is not okay for people to be scared to be themselves (unless your true self is, say, a child molester or murderer). Being trans doesn’t hurt other people. Hating trans people does hurt and kill people. Can Trump learn to love and use his power to unite? I don’t know, but let’s not stop trying to get this man and others like him to see the light and realize trans people being who they want to be does not take away from their lives at all. I identify as a cis-gender person and therefore maybe I shouldn’t speak about trans people at all. I hope I didn’t speak for trans people, but in support of those who identify as trans.

#TRANSRIGHTSAREHUMANRIGHTS

Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts Get It

I love that Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts supported their youngest son, Kai, 8 (left in pic, Sasha, 9, is on the right), dressing up as a female character of Harley Quinn from the Suicide Squad, because it shouldn’t matter if a boy dresses up as a girl or vice versa. I’d prefer to look at it as a human or a person dressing up as another person. I’m in support of they pronouns taking over and the undoing of gendered ideologies, and yet I’m not sure how to incorporate this into my daily life and actually be a part of the solution to sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

Ideally, we’d be able to remove these overarching gender binaries that dictate so much of people’s identities and social interactions in our culture. The fact that Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are using their fame to hopefully help teach people that how a child or adult wants to dress, talk, alter their body, change names, identities, etc. does not reflect on who someone is as a person.

Wouldn’t it be great if how people treat each other and behave was more important than whether or not one conforms to a specific gender role? There is still a lot of work to be done before people, myself included-since I regularly catch myself thinking in gendered terms and re-confirming problematic ideas around gender, so I’m constantly trying to challenge myself to let go of these ideas-are able to look at someone as a person rather than as a man or a woman. I’m straight but I still have a lot of trust issues with men, and I love that I work at a place that is only staffed by women. Nevertheless, I would like to reach a point where I can take each person as an individual, rather than immediately feeling different towards someone because I perceive them to be male and therefore intimidating, not able to understand my perspective, and a potential predator.

I appreciate that Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are showing that there ain’t nothin’ wrong with letting kids choose how they want to dress up and have fun in the process.

Kai absolutely owned the Harley Quinn look! Go Kai!!

OJ’s Gettin’ Out

After serving 9 years of a possible 33 year sentence for armed robbery, Orenthal James Simpson has been granted parole.

This is interesting and frightening, because while there is always the possibility of human error and fallibility, based on all of the evidence that I have consumed in regards to OJ, I do believe that he murdered Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman 20 plus years ago.

Even though OJ will not openly admit this, there was undeniable proof that he physically abused Nicole multiple times during their relationship.

And yet, during the parole board hearing, OJ illustrates that he is still highly delusional by saying, “I always thought I’ve been pretty good with people, and have basically spent a conflict-free life”. Basically, except for a couple of brutal murders, spousal abuse, and the crime he’s just spent 9 years in jail for.

But as we all know, OJ was never criminally convicted for the murders he was tried for, so it is not legally possible to deny him for parole because a judge thinks he killed Brown and Goldman. Nevertheless, it is hard to believe that OJ Simpson is going to be able to survive in society without re-offending, and I think this because he has yet to take accountability for his actions. He could have admitted that while he has had lots of conflicts in his past, he has changed and developed a better way of being. Instead OJ dances around the topic and tries to paint himself as “basically conflict-free” which should have been a red flag: DENIAL.

Maybe OJ has changed. It is in the realm of possibility. Has society’s view of OJ changed? Not really. But if you’ve seen the outstanding documentary series “OJ: Made in America” (I’ve seen all the episodes twice and some portions of them three times) then you’ll know that OJ still has fans out there. Fame is enticing enough for some people to celebrate OJ regardless of his past. Plus there are still underlying (or more likely overt) racial tensions that have always strongly influenced how OJ has been treated by the American public and by the judicial system. What’s going to happen next?

While I don’t respect or admire OJ, there is still something about him that I choose to pay attention to. He is an anomaly to me and I want to know how this story ends, because I think it says a lot more about American culture than it does about the individual OJ. How American culture operates is something worth paying attention to in my opinion.

PS. OJ is now 70.

This May Be Pathetic, But A SPEIDI Pregnancy Pic Has Brightened My Day!

So since I’m Canadian and we had Canada Day on Saturday, July 1st and the subsequent day off for Monday-Friday peeps Monday, then July 4th in the US on Tuesday, I’m feeling a little down and depressed about how FUCKED UP this world is.

I also watched an HBO documentary, Requiem for the Dead: American Spring 2014, that was fascinating, because it told individual, specific stories rather than simply focusing on overarching statistics (which is a storytelling style I find boring and lacking impact) related to gun violence. Seeing specific stories told over and over again throughout the film against the occasional backdrop of a running tally of how many thousands of people died due to gun violence in the US during the months of March to June 2014 is sickening and I think it hints at how frightening America is. Here’s a link (click here to go to IMDB page for doc) to the IMDB description of the documentary that I strongly recommend. It will take something out of you though (or at least it did that to me), so be ready for it, since it’s not a casual night of after-work viewing. Not relaxing I shall say. I was intrigued, but left with a greater sense of hopelessness.

I needed a pick-me-up this morning. So looking at these very persistent reality TV people, who I’ve been watching since Princes of Malibu (Spencer…still can’t find this show to download and I really wish I could) and The Hills (or maybe even Heidi popped up on Laguna Beach, I feel bad for not knowing, though I shouldn’t) makes me have hope that I can’t always predict the future. I never thought Heidi and Spencer would make it in the long run (at least 10 years now) and not long enough to create a child together.

They’re a bit wacky, but aren’t we all. I guarantee they have many beliefs I find offensive, but yet beneath at all, from watching these people for so long, I can’t help but wish for their happiness and a bright future free from an obsession with very large crystals.

SOUTHERN CHARM SAVANNAH: Ashley Purges In More Ways Than One/Hannah’s Dad Drops A Bomb

We hear Catherine’s voice doing the recap of the episode from last week. I wanna know why is boring Catherine the narrator? Dumb decision.

First off Hannah is packing for the trip to her dad’s place for a tailgate party.

Louis says, “Planning a party with your dad is so easy,” and that you just send people for more alcohol. Hannah gets all uppity about this not surprisingly.

Hannah then tells the camera that, “this is a perfect opportunity for him to show me that he is carrying the weight around here”. Yes, I do have an inkling suspicion that Hannah is subconsciously punishing Louis for her father’s wrongs.

Then it’s on to Nelson picking up Ashley at her place. I’m pretty sure Nelson can be heard screaming, “Go dawgs sick em,”  to cheer on the sports team they’re going to the tailgate party for. Nelson would be so much fun to go to a sports game with. That means a lot since I think sports are one of the most boring things to watch, but Nelson is a hoot! Nelson spinoff anybody? I bet it’s gonna happen with Ashley and Nelson taking on the big city (NYC) or celeb central (LA).

SC SAV nelson ashley river pic

(Nelson and Ashley earlier in the season)

I noticed during Ashley and Nelson’s drive that Nelson is wearing nice sunglasses. This is an improvement from the rest of his fashion (except for his glorious bow ties).

During the car trip, Ashley is bitching to Nelson about how Hannah should have been more considerate about going to a different designer/clothing maker in Charleston, when this is already Ashley’s livelihood. After Ashley says, ‘This is what pays for this car” Nelson’s agreement is given in the form of a very long and hilarious “Hmmmmm”. Nelson’s got some attitude in him and it’s quite entertaining. Yeah, he has been caught lying, but being fun goes a long way as well.

“Obviously I hate the tension with Hannah…If it turns sour, I know I have somewhere to go,” is what Ashley says about the Hannah feud (Ashley has access to her family or friend’s place to stay), since Ashley rightly fears that the power dynamic between her and Hannah could be unequal due to the party being on Hannah’s territory.

Hannah is so annoying! “I’m going to get the breakdown from my dad too about how much you actually did?” Why are you conspiring to get your boyfriend into trouble with your dad, Hannah? Stop caring so much what your damn dad thinks. He’s insensitive clearly.

Hannah says she gets anxiety driving up to beach house and we also find out that this is a 70-person party Louis ordered catering for. “My mom and dad built the house when I was in high school. We’ve had a lot of really fun family memories here, but it’s my dad and Sara’s house now. It’s just different,” Hannah says as she admits she hasn’t quite let go of the past yet.

Hannah says, “My stepmom and I are close in age, but not close”. Ouch! I wish I could know what Sara’s experience of the whole situation is. Hannah seems like a pretty stuck-up bitch at times, so I bet Hannah is hard to deal with. It seemed like Hannah left her stepmom out during one scene by focusing only on the people to her right, including Louis and her dad, rather than open it up for Sara to be a part of it. Sara kind of grabs at Hannah’s beer, and it was a tad awkward.

Then there’s Catherine reading some article about Ashley online. Ashley apparently got into an argument with a neighbour and busted the neighbour’s window. I want to hear more about this situation.

SOUTHERN CHARM SAV lyle catherine all white

(Lyle and Catherine looking virginal and boring as per usual)

Lyle is such that bitch who will never be able to attract an Ashley, so he pretends to crap on her, though he couldn’t handle her if he had the chance to. My analysis is why Lyle says, “She’s (Ashley’s) also an aggressive knocker along with aggressive bullshitter”. Harsh.

Then the ultimate NAGFEST tailgate party of 2017 (maybe 2016 depending on when it was filmed) by bugging Louis about everything in the most irritating way possible: “And it’s off to a rocky start…” is Hannah’s contribution to things early on. If Hannah only knew the reason this episode is so rocky is because her dad got too drunk and spilled the beans in a shocking way. Louis is an angel comparatively speaking.

When Hannah and her dad are talking, Hannah’s dad says, “Maybe i better have a talk with him”. What did Louis do that’s wrong? Their lifestyles must be too different from mine to get how not obsessing over running a party that is supposed to be fun is a bad thing.

Miss Control Freak Hannah says, “Every time i go to take a deep breath and a take a seat back…the ball has been dropped”. This is a party not a life or death surgery woman.

Hannah and her dad start doing it all themselves. 15 minutes later louis shows up on a golf cart

“You left,” Hannah says to Louis. She takes him around the side of the house for privacy in front of the cameras (haha, sure) to ream him out: “You’re hosting a party so stay ut until everything is finished and our guests arrive”. Hannah she is good at talking in a condescending manner. I wouldn’t want her to be my boss, cause I’d want to tell her to go get that fungal parasite removed from her asshole (jokes…don’t think Hannah would ever lower her guard long enough to pick up a fungal parasite, if there is such a thing), cause it’s really affecting her ability to focus on what matters.

“This is such bullshit,” is how Louis responds and I personally think he is right.

Hannah attempts to further degrade her boyfriend by calling him a vagina (not that it’s bad to be a vagina, if you can be a vagina, because vaginas are actually amazing): “You got to get that little tale feather out from underneath that vagina down there”. Nice girlfriend.

Hannah then pulls out another snot move by saying about tin foil top, “It’s just really TPT looking…trailer park trash”. Oh Hannah, aren’t you hilarious for making fun of those who aren’t as swanky as you?

SOUTHERN CHARM SAV catherine happy hannah pouring drinks

(Basic bitches Catherine, Happy, and Hannah)

Then it’s Happy’s turn once again to come in and make Hannah’s voice sound like smooth butter in comparison to Happy’s nasally whine. Happy is talking about Ashley when she says, “I want to pull her aside and have a conversation with her…Every time I turn around she’s like screaming at you”.  This girl Happy seriously irritates the fuck out of me. Catherine then repeats the rumour about Ashley punching out a window to the other girls. I can see where the conflict in this episode is heading: all signs point to Ashley. Bravo, Ashley (pun intended): $$$.

Happy says, “I struggle with feeling sad and then I hear things like this and I think this isn’t sad this is madness”. Okay there. Happy may be willing to be the black sheep of her family in terms of marrying a muslim person (since her mom at least isn’t supportive of her marriage), but she sure is judgmental and stuck-up about other things, so that judgmental trait must run in her family (it runs in my family too…can’t you tell?).

ASHLEY AND NELSON INCOMING: Ashley and Nelson show up to finally spice up the party. “Go dawgs!” Nelson say as he cheers on the team. Nelson is RIDIC. I want to hang out with Nelson so bad.

Ashley has a bandaid on her hand (window smasher!) and Catherine asks what happened. Ashley says, ‘Long story”. Perfect answer as she neither confirms nor denies, which is a great way to drag out the drama.

Happy asks Ashley, “How’s it going?” as the intro to their chat. Happy is constipated sounding. You need that rock solid piece of shit out of your ass, Happy or else you’re going to be stuck sounding like that forever. That was too harsh I know, but she really is the series villain for me.

Happy further chastises Ashley by saying, “It’s really really difficult to do that (support Ashley) when i feel like you’re acting in ways that I don’t understand that seem irrational”. I can see where Happy is coming from somewhat, it’s her delivery that sucks.

Ashley gives it right back, “Like what?”. Followed by, “You guys can’t just let me have a fun event”. Tell it like it is, girl!

Happy makes another annoying yet valid point when she asks Ashley, “Do you not feel like you’re attacking, Hannah?”.

“No one cares if i’m upset. It sucks,” Ashley shares while letting down her guard. It is correct that she’s kind of alone (except for Nelson) in this series.

Then the conversation turns to relationships and how Ashley knows Dennis is sweet, but he’ll never stand up for her and have her back in public.

Happy snaps back at her, “You’ve chosen your situation. if you don’t like it then get out of it”.

“I think that’s a very naive thing for her to say to me,” is how Ashley responds and I think she is correct. I’m unmarried and not a parent, so while I can see Ashley and Dennis’ relationship is unhealthy for Izzy (as Ashley can see too), it doesn’t mean breaking up a family is easy or something someone does rashly.

Ashley further sucks me in to loving her when she admits, “I’ve never made a decision based solely on what I wanted…”. I think there are many women who feel the same way about their lives, even if they won’t admit it on national television.

Ashley continues, “A lot of it is hard for me to deal with…That’s why I get defensive…I can’t survive on a daily basis if I focus on the struggles that I have…”. Amen! That is my life too. Just got to keep on moving, right? I think everyone is there, though levels of struggles are very different for all people.

Happy turns a bitchy-corner and seems like someone I could grow to like when she tell Ashley, “Right now, I feel like I understand where your’e coming from”. Ashley cries and hugs are given all around. Heartwarming stuff, but will it last? We shall see.

Grayson, Louis’ friend, pulls Nelson into the pool with him. Ashley jumps in and everyone else joins the pool part of the party. Grayson seems like he should be on the show too!

Now it’s BOYS ONLY (are we 10? I would not be cool with this if it was my boyfriend unless it was a pre planned boys night out…if I’m a female and I wanna come, I will) are going to the bar. We see shots of party time in da club. Daniel drops it loooowwww.

Then there’s Nelson droppin’ it with his hands. One more reason why I want to go out dancing with Nelson so bad! If you’re ever in Vancouver, Nelson, hit me up and I’ll take you to a fun hip hop club.

“You don’t have to be everything for everybody,” Hannah says to a haaaammmmed Ashley. Hannah is such a lecturer and so bitchy. Ahhh! Ashley starts barfing all over herself.

Now for the most shocking part of the episode with Louis and Hannah’s much talked-about Dad speaks for himself when he should have kept his mouth shut. Alcohol is dangerous people! That’s why I can’t touch it. Truth serum is something you’ve got to watch out for, because alcohol can make a negative spin one’s entire reality. I’m hoping that Hannah’s dad, David, was just in a particularly negative mood that night.

Louis tells Hannah’s dad she is brilliant and basically professes his love for his (Hannah’s dad’s) daughter (Hannah). Hannah’s dad then says, “I can’t tell them (Hannah and her sisters) I was never in love with her (their mom and his ex-wife)” along with “never force anything”. Okay that is a lot to digest for me, and I’m just a viewer. Hannah’s mom doesn’t deserve to be talked about this way. It’s weird, it’s like why’d you stay with a woman you were never in love with? How was she supposed to know that? Did she know that?

SOUTHERN CHARM SAV hannah crying on porch

(I bet Hannah started crying when she watched this episode for the first time…I would)

Louis admits, “I’m totally confused. I don’t know why he is saying that to be”. Hannah’s dad is messed up…”I was never in love with her (Hannah’s mom)” is repeated multiple times to Louis while they’re at the bar.

Louis isn’t the same as Hannah’s dad, as Louis maintains, “I love Hannah. She’s my best friend. I don’t take that for granted”. I like Louis.

Nelson and Ashley are driving together. She brings up how Happy and the girls genuinely tried to understand her, and she’s thankful since, “It’s hard to be vulnerable with people when you feel like they don’t really care” Yes, that is so true. I can’t let down my guard if I feel like someone has already judged me.

The next day, Hannah’s dad, David, is on his deck. It’s funny how her dad got the drunkest,  not the wild young partygoers.

Her dad looks guilty on the porch. Hannah is teary eyed while talking about Louis’ supposed faults again to her dad, ‘I really need him (Louis) to just like step it up…I feel like we’re jusr kind of floating out here in this weird space. It’s kind of funny, but sometimes i’m just like come on man”. Again, Hannah is misdirecting her anger. Focus on your fucking douche dad. He is the one who disgraces you and your family by speaking like that.

This episode was nuts…and I’m getting deeper and deeper into these people’s lives as the season goes on. Since I watch reality TV to escape, that is a good thing. This show is shaping up to contend with the original Southern Charm.

SOUTHERN CHARM RECAP: Landon Surprises/Shep Sinks Lower

We see Thomas speaking to his bestie, the happily (it really does seem that way…I hope he’s not a cheater though) married father-of-four, JD about potential ladies T-Rav wants to wed. When the option of Landon comes up, JD says, “Of all the people in the universe, I don’t know if Kathryn would be real happy about that one.” JD really seems to get a kick out of all the unbelievable conundrums (to put it mildly) that Thomas gets himself into. I think JD loves Thomas and wants the best for him. But it also seems like JD is always entertained by these predicaments and JD wonders how Thomas can be surprised at the drama that surrounds him.

SC Landon thomas jennifer umbrella

(Landon, Thomas, and Jennifer…just friends? Step-mom Landon hmmm…)

Then we switch over to single, ripe-for-the-taking (if you can give Landon as many horses as she wants) Landon. She tells the camera that, “My Dad is a real estate developer. Everything he made is tangible, you can see it.” This is used to explain why he isn’t on board with Roam (new name please), and it’s lack of tangibility. The fact that the site can’t even claim its name definitely indicates that it’s likely to evaporate into thin air very quickly.

SC landon and ex husband

(Landon and her ex husband)

Landon’s sweet dad tells her, “As a matter of fact, I’ve got a proposal for you”. Daddy offers Landon a 5 days a week job overseeing one of his development sites in Charleston, since he can’t be there to oversee it himself.

Instead of gratitude, Landon says, “This is a lot. I didn’t think that you were going to hit me with all this”. While a positive spin would be to say that Landon’s dad believes in her and is trying to give her a break with this job because he knows she can do it, Landon’s own mind (and maybe weak work ethic) makes her interpret his offer in a hurtful, condescending way.

Landon is sad her dad won’t acknowledge her site as a legitimate thing. Um, duh Landon, maybe that’s because even the most minor amount of research to see if your site name was available clearly wasn’t done effectively, if at all. About Roam Landon says, “It’s the first thing that I’ve ever done on my own as an adult that is just mine.” Landon says, “I want to do it on my own”.

I am not a fan of Landon in general, but her desire to be an independent woman and not take the easy way out did impress me this episode. I’ve never seen her clearly express that she knows it would be kind of pathetic to just fall into whatever fate offers her easy money to maintain her lifestyle.

SC LANDON RED carpet

(One thing working for Landon is that she always looks good)

Landon knows it’d be easy to marry, but she says, “It’s kind of like giving up on myself. I’m betting on me”. I’m on TEAM LANDON then too in this instance!

Shep talks to Cameran about wanting to get married and the topic of Chelsea is brought up. “I think you’re scared of being vulnerable,” Cameran says to Shep and I agree wholeheartedly. Shep hasn’t worked enough and he feels like an unfulfilled loser because of it. I hate that work is necessary to feel good, but I’ve got to do something to feel ok about myself.

SC SHEP ROSE TALKING

(Shep seems to be full of shit)

Cameran says that if Shep tells Chelsea he wants to get to know her a little better, she would stop dating Austen. This whole episode made me start to wonder if Chelsea might be a real good actress, she has had me fooled or she is a really sweet person who also seems down to earth, because maybe she is using Austen as a tool to see if Shep really will go for her. I’m not saying I don’t think Chelsea doesn’t like Austen at all, I think there is a playful attraction there, but maybe in her gut Chelsea was hoping she’d be the one to change 37 year-old perma-child Shep Rose. I’ve done it myself and paid for it with my heart and sanity.

I think that men don’t change for you. Men can change, but it has to always start from somewhere inside I think, even if a change coincides with the meeting of a new potential dating partner. I don’t know if Shep’ll ever really be there, because to his detriment, money makes it so easy to not do anything.

“Is there any hope for Shepster?” Chelsea about Shep. The forecast is bleak on that one.

Austen and Chelsea. Asks her to meet his parents. Chelsea agrees. Either Chelsea is heartless, or Shep isn’t someone she’s secretly holding out for. It is NOT COOL to meet someone’s parents if you’re not in love with them. That’s just mean and misleading.

Austen and Chelsea are shown talking in a vehicle together. Chelsea says to Austen, “Shep did something really weird. And I’ve been torn if I should tell you or not. I feel like if roles were reversed I’d want you to tell me…he came to the back of the bar, he like grabbed my arm, and he was like I wanna talk to you…he immediately turns around and goes in to kiss me. He tried two or three times.”

“It is a cheap sly move,” is how Austen describes what Shep is said to have done.

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(Jennifer, Landon, Austen, Cameran and Chelsea)

Chelsea adds to how bad what Shep supposedly did by saying, “And you being inside the bar”.

“I just feel like that took some nerves,” is Chelsea’s final point (for now) on the topic. Chelsea also says Shep said everyone knows they have something special, and that Austen has a better connection with Landon. Landon is a flirt, and, no, I don’t think her and Austen have a connection.

Then there is a boys bar night. Before the Whitney and Shep arrive, Austen starts telling Craig about what Chelsea says happened.

Shep arrives at the drinking spot and Austen says, “I can’t believe he’s (Shep’s) able to act like nothing happened.”

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(Shep and Austen going at it)

Craig calls Shep out directly for his jealousy and of course Shep, the juvenile, denies the obvious. Austen brings up Chelsea’s story. Asks Shep if there is anything he wants to reveal. “Do you not think you were wrong in that?” Austen asks Shep. Shep claims he was doing it to protect Austen and to make sure Chelsea is genuinely into Austen. It was an act of kindness supposedly. Ridiculous.

“Craig, I am no lothario my friend,” Shep says in defense of these accusations.

Shep gets angry. “I gave you the chance to admit you’re doing somebody 500 times”. Oh, so Shep is still mad that Austen won’t open up about him and Chelsea. On this one area I’ll acknowledge Shep does have a point, because Austen hid his shit so Shep can kind of do that now too, but only to a degree, not to behave in a sexually aggressive manner like Chelsea described.

Shep points out Cameran keeps encouraging him to go after Chelsea. “Sometimes my maleness gets the better of me.” This is messed-up. Shep is kind of insinuating that his masculinity is so powerful that he couldn’t help but push way too far and grab Chelsea. That is the kind of thought process that has led people to justify sexual assaults, and therefore it repulses me. Shep then says, “Do you really think that I’d make someone go out with me? Maybe she likes me.”

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(Craig enjoys his chablis)

“Austen is really forcing this mirror in Shep’s face tonight,” is Craig accurately notes, and adds about Shep, “It’s really hard to look into that mirror and see someone you don’t like”. I think Craig loves Shep, but Shep was too critical of Craig, and I’d feel like Craig too, and a bit happy to see my friend judged after treating me poorly in the past. Immature? Yes. But I ain’t perfect.

Shep further acts a fool when we see a flashback where he says to Austen about Austen’s hook-up with Chelsea, “She went slumming with you. She wanted to see what a little blue collar was like”. Seriously Shep needs to stop drinking, because comments like that will always come out if you’re hammed.

Whitney keeps standing up for Shep, but this isn’t a shocker, as I think Whitney would stand-up for whomever he is closest to rather than even think about how is right or wrong in the situation. Blind loyalty is a little much for me.

The other friend at the bar (who isn’t a cast member) tells Shep what Austen said about him. Shep denies it. Austen says to Shep, “You have alluded to it a couple times. You said you don’t have enough money for her bro. Words out of your mouth”. Scott Disick from Keeping up with the Kardashians and Shep are kind of similar alcoholics in my opinion.

“You’re on very thin ice with me,” Shep says to Austen and he ends with the classic line,”You do you. I’ll do me. I don’t care I’ve got a million friends”.

You hear that, everybody? Shep is the most popular boy in school, I mean in life. Finally, “Let it go, man,” is what Whitney says to Austen. Shut up, Whitney, you’re an annoying bitch sometimes.

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(Thomas and Kathryn once upon a time…)

Thomas brings Kensie to the mommy-and-me modelling shoot with Kathryn. You can tell the parents are really trying, but they’re also tentative. Kensie looks really happy and they look like they have a future in modelling. At the end of the scene, Kensie doesn’t want to leave and keeps trying to get into her mother’s vehicle. It is sad as Kensie is crying a lot and eventually Thomas takes her and buckles her into her car seat. I definitely felt like I was contributing to traumatizing a child by watching that scene. Watching this unfold is too much and Kathryn goes inside and starts crying. Chelsea and the modelling agency woman comfort her. I want to see fun, snarky Kathryn and I hope her wit comes out as the season progresses. Right now, Kathryn’s scenes are too depressing.

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(l to r: Saint, Kathryn, and Kensie)

Chelsea and Cameran hang out. Chelsea tells Cameran Shep was trying to say it wasn’t his fault (his way too pushiness with Chelsea at the bar) because Cameran is always in his ear. Cameran admits that, “Maybe it is selfish of me because I love you both, and I want y’all to be together”.

“You see his lifestyle. As a friend, you shouldn’t want me to be…” Chelsea trails off. I’ll end the sentence myself “…with him”. Yep.

“He (Shep) gets away with it. I know so many guys like that…at some point, that can’t happen anymore” Chelsea about guys like Shep. Dead on! School him, please. This scene made me believe Chelsea isn’t orchestrating, or playing a role in, the drama around her, and that she really sees Shep for the entitled playboy he chooses to be at the present time. Cameran decides she is going to go chew him out.

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(Craig and Naomie during happier times…big ups to them for doing relationship work with a counsellor…my partner and I have too and it helps I think)

The therapy session between Craig and Naomie reminded me of fights between my boyfriend and I! He works in our apartment making music a lot, if he didn’t spend so much time on music I don’t think I’d find him an attractive partner (he has music is on reality TV show that airs on MTV2, so he gets legit jobs composing), but the current record he is working on will not pay out until his friend and him complete it and send it in to Music BC.

He also works in a restaurant, but I’ve been doing 8 hour shifts away from home 3-4 days of the week, and when I wake up and he sleeps in with the blinds drawn while I’m up and outside, I can harp on him for it. Seeing how Naomie talks to Craig though it reminds me that even if my frustration is justified, putting your partner down will only further de-motivate them and it won’t help life them up. So what I took away from this episode is that I need to stop dumping on my boyfriend.

Shep and Cameran meet up. Cameran says, “Well I think we’re going to have to save the love doll for somebody else”. That doll is cool though. I want one!

“I saw a bright, shiny object like a fish,” is how Shep describes Chelsea and the temptation to go after her.

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(Shep and Cameran weren’t laughing during their final convo this week)

“Do you not think that there is any part of you that is jealous of him?” Cameran asks.

“Just admit that you care. Oh my god. I call bullshit,” Cameran calls Shep out and it is satisfying as a viewer to see the TRUTH spelled out for Shep loud and clear. Grow up, please.

Until next time…

OMG JTT is Still Super Hot!

So you 90s kids must have watched Home Improvement starring Tim Allen. I know I did. Ruh-ruh-ruh! The growling-bark that was “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” trademark joke on the show.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas played the character of Randy. And even though I was only around 10 when I started watching the show, I was definitely randy for JTT.

Those beautiful blue eyes, tan skin, and sweet smile! Who could resist? Certainly not I.

Anyways, I haven’t seen anything about JTT for a long time and then BHAM out of nowhere, I’m on popsugar.com and I stumble upon the above glorious pic of Jonathan.

He’s taking a break from the spotlight since he says he was working since 8 years old. Yes, please take a break then, but don’t stop being hot.

Taylor Swift and New Boyfriend Joe Alwyn: PICS TOGETHER!

DAILY MAIL LINK for more pics of T-Swift and her new boyfriend. All are poor quality though, but they’re something for you Tay-starved folks out there (and I know there’s lots of you). I’m a Tay fan too, but some of the stuff she does irritates the crap out of me.

Taylor Swift has finally decided she wants to be seen with her new boyfriend. They’re there, solid and ready to be out in full view.

And now…what?

This relationship already feels flat to me, because Joe Alwyn looks too sweet, too cute, and too innocent for Taylor Swift.

I have a feeling she’s going to need a little more excitement than what she’s getting with him, but there’s something there for the time being.

Taylor may simply be waiting on another.