celeb

RHONY-Should Renew Sonja’s Contract After Lines Like This: “Cause When That Woman(Ramona)’s Gettin’ Banged, She’s Happy!”

Ha! Sonja said this about Ramona this week that when Ramona and Mario (her ex-husband) used to be married, he was banging her every night (or I guess every night when he wasn’t banging someone else, since she acknowledged he was a cheater—totally had that vibe, too). Sonja is in a hot tub in Mexico on this weeks episode of Real Housewives of New York City as she says about Ramona that she’s sad because she’s not getting enough sex.

Sonja displays her clever wit and no shame in the jokes game when she says about Ramona, “’cause when that woman’s getting banged, she’s happy!” Man, Sonja is funny!

Andy Cohen knows that with lines like that Sonja is going to be some dollars sent her way next season too.

Now I Can See Why Austen Kroll From Southern Charm Seems Older Than 29

During the most recent episode of Southern Charm (airing on May 22nd), Austen revealed at the parquet courts place that his older sister, Kyle, died when Austen was 7 and Kyle was 10. Chelsea was asking something I would have wanted to know also, which is why Austen has a younger sister who is 9 years younger than him.

He explains that his parents had another child after his older sister tragically fell off the side of a cliff while on a family vacation in the U.S. Chelsea’s eyes welled-up immediately, it made me sad too, and it helped me to understand that I find Austen to be a hot 23 year-old, which is so rare because I’m 33 and usually find men who are older than myself to be hottest, because he’s probably been through more than most people in his particular genre of privileged whitehood in the first 29 years of life.

 

 

Maybe XXXTentacion is the New MJ

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It’s That Bad In U.S., Eh?: “Guatemalan Man Calls 911 and Asks to be Deported”-People.com

Cesar Sanchez is making the best of an apparently really shitty situation. As they say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I hope if Cesar needs some lemonade (aka healthcare assistance) that he gets it in his home country of Guatemala rather than being held with no medical care in an American prison as that is what is supposedly currently happening).

Check out this link (People.com story) about a Guatamelan man who called 911 to turn himself in as an undocumented immigrant, because he is apparently sick. Makes sense then that he’d want to go home to get some medical care, rather than NO medical care.

This story is funny in a disturbing way. Like, the U.S. sucks so bad that people who once thought it was the lands of dreams are calling the enemy–the cops–to help transport them back to their different vs less developed debate country of Guatemala.

Update: I typed in Cesar Sanchez on google and found this Breitbart news article. I didn’t see things in the same way, but this article contains some more hopefully accurate information.

Am I Too Uptight Because I Think It’s Weird When A 5 Year-old Wears Lots Of Make-up?

This is Jessica Simpson posing with her daughter (the child on the left dressed as a mermaid) Maxwell, who just turned 5, as well as her husband Eric and son Ace.

It creeps me out that her daughter has so much make-up on! Yes, my mind immediately goes to child predators and the way in which Maxwell might already believe that getting attention for how one looks is the most gratifying or satisfying kind of attention there is.I don’t think it is, but maybe that’s only because I haven’t received a lot of attention for my looks, so I’ve had to seek  out self acceptance elsewhere. I think it can be dangerous when a person primarily defines themselves based on how hot they are, and yes, I’m judging because the picture of 5 year-old Maxwell makes me think Jessica Simpon is messing with her child’s head. Oh, and it is very, very important to note, I am not a parent. Therefore, that makes me extra bitchy and annoying because I’m commenting on Jessica Simpson’s parenting (I do love Jessica Simpson, I think I still have some of the Newlyweds on DVD…she’s a goofy person) even though I have no clue how hard it is to be a parent.

Oh My God! This is the Best Outfit Ever: JLo Steals Met Gala

J.Lo is now officially my human Barbie doll.

This is J.Lo and A.Rod arriving at the 2017 Met Gala in New York City on May 1st, 2017. If I could have found a special edition Barbie doll that looked like this when I was 12 (yes, while some girls had boyfriends, I had a thing for keeping collector’s Barbie’s in their original boxes), I would have totally spent $60 on it.

Love you J.Lo! If you’re looking for a nod to J.Lo’s classic “If You Had My Love” as it is perfectly sampled on the sexy song Teenage Dream by Drake.

Things that are nice on the eyes are okay to enjoy sometimes, right?

A. Rod looks kind of goofy and like he doesn’t really know how to deal with being there, but on a positive note he really looks proud to be there with J.Lo and since I do love J.Lo, I think any man on her arm should be proud to be with such a hard-working entertainer.