canadian blogger

Safety for Transgender People Further Threatened Due To Trump

Trump has decided that transgender people will no longer be accepted into the US military (CNN discusses this) and those transgender people who are already serving (thanks to the progress the Obama administration made) will somehow be phased out, as if they’re a trend not humans.

The public reasoning behind Trump’s decision is supposedly to lower health care expenditures and prevent disruption, yet an analysis I read suggests that any money spend on transgender people’s specific health care costs pale in comparison to the overall money spent by the defense fund each year on soldiers’ health care (something like $49 billion compared to 8 million, but I’m not double checking sources here so please do that before believing my memory of a statistic). Shockingly, or not, it seems as if Trump is misrepresenting the reasoning behind his decision. Not like this is out of the ordinary though, as I have a feeling this is going to be his M.O. till the day he dies.

I guess Trump doesn’t give a fuck about whether or not his decision increases the divisiveness between soldiers and civilians. I think it will. And I think it is a false assumption that having trans and cis people working together in the army is disruptive, when in reality the leader of the country saying trans people aren’t accepted in the army is what is likely going to create more disruption than continuing to progress and allow people to identify as they choose to.

Now I think soldiers who are cis who’d be open to socializing and supporting trans military personnel may no longer feel safe doing so in case the cis people also have their jobs get threatened because of some stupid idea that “birds of a feather flock together” and the military brass might start to become paranoid and think a cis person can’t be friends with a trans person. Maybe all of my fears about what Trump’s decision is going to cause within the US military and the US as a whole are exaggerated and totally off base. Maybe they’re not.

Hopefully, there will be enough push back to have this decision reversed. Maybe Trump will be exposed to more ideas that might trigger his brain to stop for a second and consider the possibility that trans people don’t pose any threat to other people. How one wants their body to look, their name to be, their voice to sound, and the decision to claim the identity that one feels is right does not mean there is something devious, sinister, or bad about a person. Lying, stealing, cheating, abusing, murdering, and doing other forms of harm to others and oneself are the types of things (dramatic cough ahem ahem) that should be banned from the army and that should be feared, not being trans. Yes, I am passive-aggressively taking jabs at Trump, because at a bare minimum based on his own words I know that he is okay with using his power to sexually assault women. So yes, I hate Trump plain and simple for this reason alone, because I think he does the things he should fear, not trans people (which is not to say all trans people are perfect, every human is a combination of both good and bad and it’s an ongoing struggle for everybody to be a better person..I am just focusing on Trump’s bad parts because they affect too many people to go uncriticized).

It is so sad and VERY SCARY (I feel scared and I’m not even the one being targeted specifically, but aren’t we all being targeted when society tries to restrict things about your identity that shouldn’t be other people’s business or choice?) that Trump has decided to target trans people not just in the army but everywhere. I am thinking of people who are trans or identify under the LGBTQ umbrella and who live in a small town, who don’t have the money to move to a big, more evolved city space (not that all city spaces are evolved, but some pockets tend to be–again most often for those with $$$), who don’t have the confidence or positive reinforcement yet (for some people sadly this day never comes) to see that being treated poorly for one’s gender identity or sexuality is unacceptable, and who get targeted with threats of violence, experience violence. There are trans people being murdered in the US each year (for example this former soldier was just sentence in the US last week for murdering a transgender woman after the soldier had a sexual encounter with her) for stepping outside of the lines of these rigid, life-threatening gender binaries that people like Trump appear to cling to at any and all costs.

I don’t know how this is going to end. I am so lucky in that my gender identity conforms to gender ideals and I’ve never been targeted in the way trans people continue to be. Just because I’m not targeted doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to me though. It is not okay for people to be scared to be themselves (unless your true self is, say, a child molester or murderer). Being trans doesn’t hurt other people. Hating trans people does hurt and kill people. Can Trump learn to love and use his power to unite? I don’t know, but let’s not stop trying to get this man and others like him to see the light and realize trans people being who they want to be does not take away from their lives at all. I identify as a cis-gender person and therefore maybe I shouldn’t speak about trans people at all. I hope I didn’t speak for trans people, but in support of those who identify as trans.

#TRANSRIGHTSAREHUMANRIGHTS

Kimmy K’s Being A Kunt

Wow. I am one to defend Kim Kardahian in arguments with people because I always feel like people’s hatred of her is somehow connected to her sexuality (the “she got famous off of a sextape” argument was put forth a few weeks ago when I was around another Kardashian-hater) and the belief that she is too materialistic and show-offy to be worthy of respect.

Anyways, even I have now seen Kim Kardashian on her show “Keeping Up With The Kardashian” behave in a way that makes me almost hate her.

Scott, Kim’s older sister Kourtney’s baby daddy, goes with Kim to her first public appearance trip after she was robbed at gunpoint to Dubai and ends up having a girl in his suite when Kim and her crew come to pick him up to go eat.

For some insane reason, after seeing the unidentified female’s purse sitting on a table Kim and her super bitchy cruel friends start hunting around the apartment to try to find the female Scott had over.

Um…ok, so this girl deserves to be called a whore why? There is no excuse for trying to slut-shame a person, and especially since Scott isn’t even in a relationship with Kim’s sister Kourtney, and even if he was Kim should be pissed at Scott and not this woman.

Kim calls the women “whore”, “disgusting”, and keeps trying to find her. Thankfully, the woman’s face was blurred out.

Kim Kardashian is capable of being really mean and it was so repulsive how judgmental of another female she was. Yes, I’m calling Kim a kunt, so I’m doing the same thing, but I needed to stand up for the person degraded by Kim Kardashian and her friends during the second to last episode that aired.

It made me wonder if Kanye is cheating or has cheated on Kim, or if she is so very scared he will, and she was taking out all of her issues on this women, instead of realizing that it’s her own insecurities and she needs to take that up with her man.

Anyways, if you already hated Kim Kardashian then you’ve got this Kardashian fan willing to support some Kim hate today because she really needs to take some accountability for the out-of-control slut-shaming she took part in on the show a few weeks ago.

Are you truly sorry Kim? What are you sorry for? It’s a reminder to me, because I know I still revert to using what I perceive as a woman’s sexual practices as a thing to criticize in a person when it is not. Slut-shaming is unacceptable and seeing it on KUWTK reminded me to stop when I catch myself doing it. Seeing Kim act like that reminded me that if I try to shame another I only shame myself.

Dolly Parton Takes Some Shame Away from Suicidal Thoughts

I read this article (click here) on People.com last night, and reading quotes a new book called Dolly on Dolly, Interviews and Encounters with Dolly Parton that has compiled lots of Dolly Parton interviews together. According to this book there was a time when she thought about killing herself with her pistol, because she was so unhappy made me feel undeniably better and less shameful about the fact that I’ve had two overnight stays in the hospital when I’ve been suicidal. Dolly apparently said that her dog saved her by running in and jolting her out of her depression and that he is her “spiritual messenger”.

I keep feeling bad because I didn’t actually kill myself and just talked about how I was thinking about killing myself.

That is the sick part about stigma in our society. It should be a positive thing that I received support and didn’t kill myself, but I still think there is a lot of judgment around people admitting they’re in a lot of pain and are thinking about hurting themselves.

I am thankful at my lowest points I was able to afford high quality medical support and I think my mental health problems improved.

Dolly Parton goes out on a limb by being so honest and frank about her own struggles with suicide, because we’re not supposed to admit openly that sometimes life sucks so much it can appear as if death would be a better solution. I hope it’s not. I hope that any individual who is having suicidal thoughts share them with someone who can help you, either at a hospital or with a friend/trusted person.

Dolly Parton proves that you can be incredibly successful and viewed as having it all in life and still be suicidal. Depression and suicide do not discriminate, but I still think that shame is the dominating force that shapes how we treat depression and suicide and that makes it less safe for people who are struggling with these issues.

Anyways, I don’t listen to Dolly Parton’s music on my iTunes but I love her persona and acting (Steel Magnolias, 9 to 5) and this candid revelation about being suicidal made me love her more. Dolly rules! Maybe I’ll make it to Dollywood one day.

On a side note, I saw this article up on People.com last night and it was already far down the page and not a big story even though I think it should have been. Today I went back to People.com to find it and I couldn’t find it was pushed so far down in the news chain of events. I had to type in Dolly Parton suicide People.com on Google to find the article. I may be wrong but I think how quickly this article disappeared from People.com is another example of stigma towards getting help and being open about mental health struggles.

Why Is Brad Pitt More Comfortable With The R-word Than The A-word?

Brad Pitt has just done an interview with GQ, and in it he reveals the most in a long time about himself, his divorce, and his kids (but nothing juicy about Angelina specifically).

Anyways, he basically acknowledges his own role in the divorce without critiquing Jolie, that must take some control because she can’t be perfect, and points to his own partying and alcohol consumption as big problems.

B.P. then goes on to say that he hasn’t drank for 6 months. Prior to that he describes himself as “retarded” (I thought all politically correct folks knew this word is a no-no nowadays…especially when it is being used in the way that refers to moving backwards or regressing. Many people with mental handicaps are progressing and represent inspiring examples of human beings, and since the word “retarded” ended-up often being used with the intention of making someone with a mental disability or challenge viewed as less than others, which is wrong and inaccurate) in an emotional sense. Pitt claims that he wasn’t good at showing his emotions, and infers that he repeated his own father’s example of, “Father knows best” and a “war mentality”.

While I don’t know Brad Pitt at all, it was surprising that he referred to himself using the r-word (which I must admit I still use in my vehicle during road-rage so I contribute to the negative prejudice that the word promotes towards people with mental disability’s as well) he wouldn’t flat-out label himself an “alcoholic”, which it sounds like he is, since he is now abstaining from alcohol entirely. When asked why he choose to quit drinking Pitt simply said, “Don’t want to live that way anymore”.

I enjoyed this interview, and it re-established my Pitt Fandom, I think he is going to put out something incredible soon, but it did make me think of how harshly our society judges alcoholics when someone prefers to use the r-word (which I thought he would know enough to steer clear from) to describe themselves over the a-word. R-word is offensive because it has a history of being used to put people down.

I’m an alcoholic and I don’t mind the label, because my life is much less scary with my own self-labelling of alcoholic than it was when I refused to call myself an alcoholic. So maybe alcoholic has a huge negative association for some people, but in terms of my own self-perception it doesn’t, and maybe that is why I’m wondering what makes Brad Pitt so scared to call himself an alcoholic (maybe court will judge him more harshly with his kids if he does, who knows?).

Maybe it means nothing at all.

The Ol’ “Kardashians Don’t Have Jobs” Argument: Demeaning Work Women Do

This is what never makes sense to me about people who hate reality TV because it is all “fake” but simultaneously argue that people like the Kardashians “don’t have jobs”. Yeah, entertainment, which is a huge stress relief for me, can involve making fake things or situations interesting because the fake scenarios are fun or interesting to watch (they might even relate in some ways to real life as well, I think they do). The “Kardashians don’t have jobs” argument was something I once again encountered last week when I attended my friend’s son’s 3rd birthday party.

One of my friend’s friends (who felt the need to emphasize that she is “not a feminist” so you can’t offend her…yet she was offended by almost everything the other people said at the party, interesting…) asked me what’s new with celebrity culture, and I said that Kim Kardashian is getting hated-on for joking about how the flu helped her lose weight and for saying it’s an an effective diet right before the MET Ball, but if you only consider whether or not a diet helps you lose weight. It is not depending on how physically harmful a diet is–it’s not that offensive. I’ll point out Kim never denied or commented on how dangerous flus are. I bet she realizes it’s not an ideal state to have the flu! One could say she was just looking at the bright side of things, but the sad reality is because of her famous and influence there are going to be some sick people trying to get themselves sick to lose weight. Kim Kardashian can’t be blamed for all of those people, but she should consider them when writing things like this on a public format.

Anyways, this led into my friend’s friend saying that the Kardashians don’t have jobs. My other friend’s boyfriend, who I know doesn’t watch or enjoy the Kardashians but gets that they’re business people and entertainers who are SUCCESSFUL at their jobs, was really getting into arguing with the friend’s friend that they do and I joined in as well. I eventually noticed myself getting way to into the argument and the topic changed shortly thereafter.

It’s funny because the same friend of a friend was just showing off earlier about how her life is good because she is cruising at her job and making $30 an hour. Aren’t the Kardashians just cruising at their jobs of dressing up, selling people products and their TV show, showing up for professional appearances and doing press, promoting themselves on various social media outlets and taking the best financial options available for their time (aka work)?

It seems to me that this critical female who wants to demean everything the Kardashians do (and yes I think they use their sexuality as one of their primary means of attracting attention and financial offers…it’s okay, I’m a fan and on board with hit…I love looking at beautiful women, what can I say? Supply and demand is a huge part of capitalism.) is somehow jealous of the Kardashians, because the argument that they don’t have jobs makes no sense.

Capitalism to me appears to me to involve people pursuing the best financial reward available for what they are willing and or able to offer up in return. The Kardashians are highly privileged individuals in the sense that their beauty, family heritage in Hollywood have helped them greatly in terms of their success, but they are still undeniably inspirational business women who have found ways to use what the Lord has given them (nope, I don’t believe in God, but I do like that statement and I like to capitalize for emphasis) and maximize their own personal bank accounts (financial status has a huge impact on one’s own personal freedom, which means being rich can be very empowering for women and create options that would simply NOT be there if the females weren’t rich).

So, this leads me to think that this friend of a friend is falling into something I notice that I still do as well in an attempt to put down a female that I dislike, which is to resort to the age-old virgin/whore complex. Bad women are whores: lazy, liars, etc. Good women are virgins: honest, sweet, submissive etc. And since Kim Kardashian has made a sextape some people will ignore everything else she has done that has taken lots and lots of TIME and ENERGY to claim she is a whore. See it’s not that easy to be born drop-dead gorgeous now is it? Kardashians ain’t nearly as bad as people say. I defend them because of the sexist, anti-feminist attitude behind the argument that the KARDASHIANS DON’T WORK.

Clearly, they do work–but those who criticize the Kardashians don’t value all work, only the kinds of work they think are respectable I guess. It’s so weird actors who are on scripted shows are viewed as having jobs, but reality TV actors on shows everyone freaks-out about being scripted and totally staged doesn’t involve real work? Scripts. Stages. Sounds like working as an actor but they’re playing themselves to me. Makes no goddamn sense. This is another part of this weird delusional reality projected forth by people who are jealous that certain individuals got a way better deal in the whole realm of capitalism and financial gain than they did. Yes, the Kardashians make way more money than you do for doing work that is possibly easier than yours, but it’s not like able-bodied people are quick to give up their wage which can be higher because there are more jobs available to able-bodied people, because someone who is incapable of moving their body and is disability and can’t make a lot of money? People are inherently selfish, but it seems like most people want to deny this in themselves. I don’t deny it about myself. I have a regular job, but I also call up my Mom’s (she’s 55) 87 year-old ex-boyfriend every few months or so in great part because I know he’ll usually send me a cheque for around $5000 after. Does it feel dirty? Yep. But I like cash. If you’re above money, good for you. I don’t need to pretend my financial status doesn’t have a great impact on a lot of things (but of course not everything) in my life.

Finally, A Story That Made Me Happy: Southern Charm’s Craig Conover Finally Passed Bar Exam

I saw this People magazine story yesterday and I realized that discipline and perseverance in the face of adversity persist after all when I found out Southern Charm’s (one of my top, if not THE top reality show, show I’m watching–in my opinion) Craig Conover finally passed the bar exam.

He was publicly shamed at the end of the last season (the 3rd) when he was pushed to reveal on the reunion that he can’t write the bar exam because he failed to finish law school. His final term paper was never turned in.

The rest of the cast appeared shocked to learn that Craig had been lying to them for 3 seasons. I’m not sure how many actual years that is, but probably at least 2, since season 1.

Anyways, though Craig is a bit of a tool sometimes, he does have a certain sweetness and he seems very focused on doing the right thing, even if it’s undeniable that he often doesn’t DO THE RIGHT THING (haven’t seen that movie in a while-may be revisiting it soon).

Conover’s best moment this season (4) so far, again in my opinion since I’m the one writing this and there’s no statistical way found out yet to determine whether or not this is more than an opinion and truly accurate) is when after a polo match, his co-star and apparent friend Thomas Ravenel is sitting with some other cast members as his two children, Kenzie and Saint, (who he fathered as a 50 plus lifelong bachelor with the now 24 year-old Kathryn Dennis and who he has full custody of) are pushed on a stroller by their nanny behind them. 3 year-old Kenzie is yelling out, “Daddy! Daddy!” but he ignores her and continues talking to the people around them.

Craig takes issue with this (it felt super weird to me too…just say hi to your daughter since she is clearly happy to see you) and told Thomas in Craig’s very nasally voice to go say hi to his daughter. Thomas kind of tells Craig to fuck off and Craig walks away pissed. This moment is where Craig’s midwestern sensibility really shines through.

southern charm naomie olindo craig conover

Congrats to Craig and his girlfriend Naomie Olindo who seemed about ready to dump him if he didn’t get it together and finally do something with his life (not to say at all that this is something I’ve accomplished myself, but still aiming for it)!

Orly Bloom Acknowledges How Unimportant He Is Next To Katy Perry

 

I’ve never been an Orlando Bloom fan. I’ve never hated him, but I’ve also never felt drawn to him. To me, he comes off like some good-looking guy who doesn’t really have any idea what it’s like to be a normal person.

The video of Bloom trying to punch-out Bieber was the only thing I’ve seen of Orlando Bloom on fancy film or paparazzi film that I’ve found interesting.

But now…after Orlando and Katy P. are broken up, and she flirts via Twitter with aging but still very hot man Ryan Phillippe, he has finally said something that makes me think Orlando Bloom might have some perspective or awareness of himself in terms of public perception. About his break-up with Katy Perry he said this: “She happens to be someone who is very visible, but I don’t think anybody cares about what I’m up to. Nor should they” (according to x17online.com).

If he continues to show this kind of depth then maybe I’d actually go see him in a movie at the theatre. It takes A LOT for me to haul my ass to the theatre, and it’s not because I’m lazy, it’s because I am anti-social and prefer to consume movies, tv, music, etc. in the privacy of my relative solitude (except for my boyfriend and 3 cats) of my own apartment. The last thing I went to the theatre to see was Moonlight. It was worth the trip.

So, yeah, maybe, just maybe, I might end up directly spending some cash on Mr. Bloom, who just turned 40 and still looks quite young and/or healthy, for his ability to entertain me.

 

Placement of Heidi’s Other Hand is Everything in this Pic

It’s funny this news story has come out today because two nights ago I had a sudden craving for Speidi and The Hills was the show I had playing in my bedroom prior to falling asleep (much to my boyfried’s chagrin…no matter how hard I try I can’t get him to obsess over reality TV or even enjoy it remotely as much as I do), so it’s I’m excited to see they’re having a baby!

If I recall, even back in the day when The Hills was still airing Spencer never wanted to have a baby and Heidi was trying to talk him into it.

Well, maybe Heidi will lead us to believe things have changed (and somehow use this public front as her opinion to lock-down a new reality show over how Spencer reacts to having to share his MA-MA/wife), but if you look at Heidi’s right hand gripped like a tentacle tightly around the hand Spencer is using to create a heart over her belly there is evidence of a bit of tension (in my opinion only, of course).

Haaahahhaah! I can imagine Spencer’s old friends who see this at the grocery store (I typed supermarket first, yet I never say that out loud and I’m not an American…why?) cracking up at the thought of Spencer morphing into a totally loving, kind person as a dad.

So, it kinds of looks like Heidi’s hand is screaming,”You will love this child Spencer!” as Spencer thinks of ways to simultaneously escape the relationship and further obsess over Heidi, because she’s the only one fucked-up enough to deal with his many issues.

But I also have many issues, including a bed temper and a tendency towards paranoia like Spencer, so not only do I have compassion for Spencer’s insanity, I also want to see another Speidi reality show please! Bravo scoop them up from MTV already…or maybe there needs to be a Princes of Malibu Season 2? Brody could use the work.