Brandi Andrews

WHAT HAPPENS AT THE ABBEY: Heidi Montag, What, What?

As much as I wanted to not want to watch What Happens at the Abbey I caved tonight, and, as per usual, I am now getting more into the Show.

First there’s Daniel and Ashlee’s cooking session at Ashlee’s place. Daniel is my favourite character so far. He seems geeky and like he’s not as a fakeass as some others. It’s clear that Ashlee isn’t used to guys doing anything other than blushing and doing whatever she asks in her presence. I like that Daniel doesn’t just flatter her ego the whole time.

I want to see more DANIEL!

Ashlee eventually becomes infuriated with the date, and says, “Daniel is dumb as a brick.”

“You’re not very nice, are you?” Daniel says in response. Go boy! Yes, I am a lifelong awkward girl, so I always get some satisfaction when a beautiful girl gets shut down a bit.

“Me doing some charity work at this point” Ashlee is another description she uses for her date(?) with Daniel. I don’t think either of these people thought it was a date or have any chemistry.

Daniel’s strength with women I think is that he’s not intimidated by their beauty. It seems like he knows that lots of hot girls are arrogant, so he refuses to further hype-up beautiful ladies’ egos (based on the little CA-COW/CO-COH cooking session with Ashlee).

Billy knows what he’s good for and that’s taking that shirt off” Kyle about Billy while Billy takes his shirt off in front of Marissa’s Mom. I think her mom has good instincts and she can tell Kyle is a player. I get that feeling, too. I like that she let him sweat, because he is interested in her daughter, so it’s only right a mom should make a “suitor” sweat.

Ha! Marissa and her Mom were really cute. I like her mom alot! My Mom, my sister, Nat, and I were all total celeb stalkers during my childhood, so I totally relate to the storyline where Marissa gets embarrassed by her mom when they’re at The Abbey and reality tv dynasty Heidi Montag is there.

Aww, of course sweet Heidi tells Marissa to, “Follow your dreams”. Heidi might be cray-cray, but she’s sweet, too. So weird to see her out for a night without Spencer. Where’s he hiding?

“Heidi Montag is literally everything.” Marissa says about Heidi. Heidi is pretty awesome and a pioneer in the reality tv genre.

Lawrence then wants to tell his father that he is having a baby with Brandi: “We have to break the news to him that we are starting a family”.

“We HAVE to” says it all. Shouldn’t it be exciting to tell your family if they’re supportive?

Divorce. Lawrence parents forced the kids to choose when they got divorce. My sister and I were involved in an ugly custody battle (my sister had to testify in court against my Dad, but I didn’t testify, just wrote a letter the judge read) and it has had a permanent effect on me in that I still am recovering from emotional trauma inflicted during that time (I do think I’ve improved so much though). Lawrence says his parents were breaking up and at the airport going in two different directions. His parents told him and his brother to choose. He says his brother choose his father, then his brother grabbed Lawrence to come with him. Heartbreaking, and the saddest part of all, “I saw my Mom go in the opposite direction”. That’s a sad story. Custody battles are cruel towards the children first and foremost.

Lawrence tells his Dad, “We’re going to have a baby. You will be a grandfather.”

Brandi: “I’m also gay.”

His dad asks, “What if you decided that you go separate ways?”

Brandi then says, “I don’t feel like it would happen….I wouldn’t up and move somewhere else.”

I love what Lawrence dad says! His dad tells them, “This is like remarkable. Thank-you. You couldn’t have done anything more to honour me.” Lawrence’s Dad to Lawrence and Brandi. Everyone starts crying.

Whoa. I’m so pessimistic.

Brandi then says about Lawrence’s dad, “He (Lawrence) was finally able to get over a bridge that he feel like he burnt with his father” is what Brandi says about the pregnancy. To play devil’s advocate this repairing of a burnt bridge is kind of insane if Lawrence felt like he had to atone for being gay. If the only reason his father was disappointed he was gay is because he couldn’t have kids with another man then that’s ok. But if his dad truly hated Lawrence being gay and that is something Lawrence still puts on himself as a bridge he burnt and needed to repair, well then I think his dad should realize Lawrence has done nothing wrong or disappointing in being gay.

UPDATE: I tweeted my article to Lawrence and he read it.He tweeted in response to my tweet, “Thanks for the review! Just want it to be clear that my father has never been disappointed in me”. and “I was disappointed in myself for not having the courage to come out to him face2face, he found out from someone else”. 

Glad we cleared that up! I was wrong and Lawrence’s dad never held Lawrence being gay against him. Lawrence’s dad is pretty cool!

 

 

WHAT HAPPENS AT THE ABBEY: Anytime A Guy Talks Like This I Think “Rapist Alert”, But He’s Probably Just Douchey and Harmless

Kyle What Happens At the Abbey

(Kyle Clarke–more pics can be found at E online)

When Kyle Clarke is talking about the Abbey newbie Marissa Chykirda he says, “She hasn’t been passed around, so this is a good time to swoop-in”. Oh, so you’d be grossed-out if she’d been with other men at the Abbey? It doesn’t sound like this is his first time to the rodeo, so why the heck is he chasing down this girl and talking about her like this? Like, if she does fuck 5 guys is she now a throwaway human being because of that? When one’s attraction to a female is based on how innocent or virginal she appears, something often only attainable during youth, it makes me think the guy is way too macho and needs to expand his mind when it comes to female sexuality and what is sexy.

Marissa Chykirda

(Marissa Chykirda (above) is a very beautiful young woman learning how to serve V.I.P. in the first episode. She asks Tori Spelling for a selfie in addition to other no-nos. Once while I worked at a place called The Naam in Vancouver I served Sarah Silverman. As I seated her party, I asked her if I could get a pic with her once she was done dinner. She said yes and the pic was awesome. So you don’t always get in trouble for asking someone for their pic, but I also didn’t care about my job so much that if I did get in trouble I’d be devastated).

Cory Zwierzynski what happens at the abbey

(Cody Zwierzynski…just a pretty boy to me as of yet)

Boy drama! Murray Swanby and Cory Zwierzynski. I want to know more about these guys. It seems like Cory might use his super-good-looks to get tons of guys attention, and then in response Murray is more of a self-conscious person and he gets triggered by being with a man like Cory who is always flaunting his sexual prowess in front of Murray. Murray drinks to deal with the stress. That’s just my guess, since it always takes two to tango.

Murray Swanby What Happens at the Abbey

(Murray Swanby…he seems cute and like he’ll be crazy but VERY endearing)

BUT based on the dialogue included on the show, the viewer is told by the other cast member, Brandi Andrews, that “Murray is kind of a mess…sober Murray is nowhere to be found.” She also tells Cory to “Be the bigger person”. Is Murray all to blame?

Brandi Andrews What Happens AT the ABbey

(Brandi Andrews seems like a straight-up type of person…so far)

There was the other dramatic flair-up of the fight between Lawrence Carroll and his female heterosexual friend, who seems to have been under the impression that he was going to father her a child. He yells at her, “You’re not going to be the mother of my child” and that he doesn’t want any “douchebag dude trying to be around my kids”. Lawrence apparently wants Brandi to have his baby, and he will parent the child with Brandi and Brandi’s girlfriend.

Lawrence Carroll What Happens At the Abbey

(Lawrence Carroll likes to hold the power of his sperm over other’s heads…or so it seems)

I dislike men a lot also, so I can see where he is coming from, but it is a strange double-standard on the other hand. Is it bad to be straight? The girl he tells can’t have his baby starts crying a lot. Maybe she was just playing it up for the cameras. She says, “You’re putting this on me. This is your idea”. I’d think  my friend was mean if he offered to be my baby daddy and then says it can’t happen in front of reality tv cameras. It’s all part and parvel of the realtiy TV game I guess (or I know).

I like Kim Senser a lot and I find her really relatable. She is perfect looking and gorgeous, but she shared some details about herself that make me think she’s mind kind of girl. I’m a super jealous person. Strangely enough, in the past I’d choose to date guys who were openly players, while I’d always be monogamous with them (they didn’t ask me to be, I’m just not good at playing), so I’d always end up sending up to 100 texts some nights when I’d get ditched and the guy was with some other young lady.

Anyways, Kim says she’s super jealous and I like that she admits this, because most people I’ve ever been around all claim they never experience jealousy and act like it’s so pathetic. It’s pretty ingrained in us I think to feel jealousy, especially because in small doses it is a sign of self-respect. I deserve to be treated well and am not embarrassed to feel frustrated if I’ve felt a guy I’m fucking favours some other girl over me.

I’ve never done sneaky stuff because I’m pretty  much a full-on aggressive person when angry, so I won’t do hidden things, but she says she’s snuck on to a guy’s Facebook and slept outside a guy house for the night before in her vehicle and he doesn’t know that. Juicy! Good work, Kim. You might actually gain some fans since you get that in order to be interesting on reality TV you’ve got to be willing to convincingly reveal some unflattering things about yourself.

Didn’t think I’d like this show for first 40 minutes of episode, but reality TV sucked me in again!