Month: June 2014

Top 10 Things I (don’t) Miss About Facebook

People often ask, “Why aren’t you on Facebook“?  Or friends say, “I miss you on Facebook“.  I used to be like the majority of America, I too had a Facebook.  I checked it religiously and posted a status every 19.5 seconds.  I also found myself complaining about it all-the-time.  One day I realized it was bringing more negativity to my life than it was joy.  Below are the top 10 things I found most annoying about the uber-popular site.

10.  Grammar.  I found that I didn’t like knowing how illiterate, those closest to me were.  P.S. There is a huge difference in you’re and your, folks.  Huge difference.

9.  The “old” family member.  You just pictured your Aunt Mildred, amirite.  You know, the family member that comments on each and every picture, status and check-in that you post.  Her.

8.  Traffic/Weather.  The complaints about traffic and weather.  I’m talking daily, sometimes mutli-daily complaints about traffic or weather being bad.  Especially from my native Houstonian friends.  Do we ever have good traffic or predictable weather?  No.  I didn’t care for this on many levels for multiple reasons.  It could be a blog post in itself, really.

7.  The over-dramatic, vague post.  “Will it ever end”, “OMG, I hate herrrrr”, “SO excited, can’t wait!!!”, etc, etc.  Then, when the nosies comment on the post to probe and find out what is so exciting, the poster says, “Oh, nothing.  Can’t talk about it on here”.

6.  Embarrassing kid pictures.  Could you not.  These are little humans.  When we were growing up, our parents took a couple of potty training, or spaghetti coming out the nose pictures.  They then, developed them and shoved them in the closet.  We grew up and have the option of sharing this pictures with our friends/significant others.  Today’s kids are not given that privacy.  From day 1, they’re on the world wide web for anyone to see.  The good, the bad, the mostly ugly.

5.  The perfect 2 year old that’s never had a tantrum, ever.  Please lady.  Just please.

4.  Not being one’s self.   You all have ‘em on your friend’s list.  Your BFF who’s page doesn’t even closely resemble the life you know her to have.  You know, the housewife that you have wine with every Wednesday night that loves to cuss because it’s funny.  However on Facebook, she doesn’t even let the word “poop” slip, and her beverage of choice is water and water only.  Her pastor might see that she likes wine and says ass.  Gotta keep it clean!

3.  Not communicating.  Social media has seemed to make friends and family think that they no longer need to talk to each other.  If I see that Joey sat in traffic this morning on the way to his new job, then had a hamburger for lunch and his kids poop on the potty now; I no longer need to call or text him to see how things are going.  Social media has made us so “social”, we’re anti social.  We just read about each other’s lives and quit talking to each other.

2.  The kid pic poster.  The mom that posts 97 pictures a day of their kid(s).  I’m not talking about the embarrassing ones that I don’t think need to be online anyway, I’m talking: ice cream, soccer, sleeping, coloring, swimming, before school, after school, etc.  Nobody cares about your kid that much, honey.  Get a scrapbook, For.  The.  Love.

1.   Social media checking, when you’re being social.  We’ve all done it.  You’re at a party with 20+ people that you know.  But you get on your phone, to check your news feed, to see what your friends are doing!  They’re at the party.  Put down the phone and live life.  Talk to them, take some pictures with them(for Facebook later of course), spill a drink on them…have fun!

 

Thanks but no thanks, Pinterest

Just because you made it from an old t-shirt, doesn’t mean it’s cute.  Thank you anyway, Pinterest.

There.  I said it.

First of all, who has size 2x shirts laying around?  I mean, “cute” size 2x shirts.  The only 2x shirts I have laying around the house, are shirts my boyfriend has been wearing for years too long and should have thrown out years ago.  Who wants an “off the shoulder, deep v cut, fringy bottom, cute” shirt with 3 different colored stains and says McCoy’s lumber yard on it?

Second, do people wear these?  Lets say that someone was able to find a spare 2x shirt that wasn’t riddled with holes and BBQ stains.  They then, puke their Pinterest magic on it.  Do they wear it?  If so, what size are these ladies?  Who can pull this, “I turned a 7 year old shirt into something from the mall” look, off?

If these women exist, they sound truly amazing.  If you’re one of them or know one of them, raise your hand!